Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

December 3, 2009 - Issue #89
3 Ways to Work on Your Mental Self

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Hello! Hope you had a lovely holiday (or just a very good week)! I know I had a very relaxing weekend and that's always a good thing!

If you have access to the USA network, you are probably familiar with Monk the OCD detective who will be televising his final episode this coming Friday night. I've enjoyed him for all 8 seasons and it's like saying goodbye to a close friend. What I have always admired most is that Adrian Monk is true to his self, full of fears, diosyncrasies, quirks and oddities. How can you not love such a person? After all, Adrian himself says that his talents are a gift... and a curse! I'll miss him and the entire cast. If you are a fellow watcher, I'm sending my condolences out to you too.

In peace, love and gratitude.
Louise

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Food for Thought

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." --- Walter Bagehut

Keep It Simple

3 Gifts to Give Yourself

Being generous to others is a quality that most of us aspire to. We want to be of service to others and actively seek ways to share, whether it be money, action or wisdom.

However, it is near impossible to be generous to others if we cannot be generous to ourselves. Here are 3 gifts to give yourself. They will not only help you be more generous to others, they will be major steps in the process of becoming your best self.

Being honest with yourself.
It is necessary to be ruthlessly honest with yourself. Without that honesty, it is extremely difficult to identify where you are. If you can't recognize where you are, you cannot identify the gap to where you want to be. Focusing on the correct gap is a vital step in self improvement. An easy way to determine if you are lying to yourself about anything is to run your thoughts over what's going on in your life. If your head starts filling up with irrelevant thoughts when you pass onto a topic, it's a good bet you are trying to deceive yourself about what is really happening, at least as to the significance of those events. Take 3 deep, slow breaths, focusing your mind on your breathing and then look at the event square in the face.
People who rub you the wrong way.
People who push your buttons are gifts from the universe to you. They point you in the right direction of some emotional turmoil that needs to be resolved. At least they can, if you are willing to explore exactly why they get under your skin. While they might indicate one of a number of emotional responses, that brutal honesty mentioned above can help you get to the truth. It's possible it could be about not taking things personally, or they could be a mirror, they're violating a value, there's a life lesson involved, they are a guidepost for action you need to take, or the situation could even be serving you in some way. Again, take 3 deep slow breaths and look at the situation honestly in order to free yourself from the button-pushers of this world.
Focus on self growth and development.
When you are striving to become the best you possible, you give yourself one of the wonderful gifts of all. Acknowledging that we're okay just the way we are and then choosing to make changes that allow us to become even more okay is a terrific gift to give yourself. This gift is one that gives and gives and gives. The more we focus on being who we want to be, the smoother our life becomes, we become attractive to that which we want, and we draw it forth easily and effortlessly. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving!

Feature Article

3 Ways to Work on Your Mental Self

True integrity means that we have all four areas of life working in harmony with each other. Our physical self complements and enhances our emotional, mental and spiritual selves. Each dimension complements and enhances the other three. In fact, when you are 'in' integrity, there is no awareness of the four separate selves. There is only "I".

Even though that's true, while we are working towards wholeness and becoming our best self, one of the four areas might get left behind. The way to bring them back in balance is to focus on the 'weaker' aspect until it is as strong as the others. Here are some thoughts on the mental self.

Working on the Mental Self

For me, the mental side is the self that most of us focus on once we start school. While we probably start with all our focus on either the emotional or physical self (and most probably a combination of both in our early years), when we start school there is a transition to our mental self as, through all those years of education, we are rewarded predominantly for our grades and expanding knowledge. While it is an important dimension of our life, it belongs on an equal footing with the other three dimensions. However, I can remember a time when my whole self worth was a direct reflection of my brain and my accomplishments in learning. It was actually a very sad place to live. Today, as I honor all 4 aspects equally, I constantly seek to expand my knowledge and awareness of life by regular exposure to new thoughts, ideas, people and places. I choose to explore the world, joyously and without fear.

Wake up your brain each morning.
When I wake up, my brain is usually in a fog. Very often, I start my day with a cup of coffee and a matching game of Mahjong that forces my brain into alertness. Sometimes one game is enough, sometimes I need more. After that, I'm able to proceed to my work day, where I can turn my attention to the business matters at hand. That's whats works for me. If you jump in the shower first thing, then make sure you stimulate your brain with your fingers by using your nails when you wash your hair. (In actuality, you don't need to be in the shower to do this, but you should certainly always do it when you are in the shower!) I have a friend who wakes up his brain by watching a much-loved sitcom when he gets up. For him, laughter starts the brain working. My mom does crossword puzzles. It doesn't really matter what it is as long as you enjoy it and it gets your brain working on all four cylinders!

Reflect on everything you see, hear or read.
While it doesn't stimulate your body, if you spend much of the day watching TV or in non-brain-needed activities, you can still get those mental juices going by reflecting on what you're watching on TV or reading in the paper. Is that what you believe in? What do you think about that? Is there a better way to do that? How would you do it differently. What about the person watching it with you? Have a dialog with them about what's going on. Quite honestly, I believe you can use this technique all day long to keep your mind active and alert!

Decide to learn something new.
No matter how old you are, you can still identify something that you always wanted to learn. It could be another language or any other topic you can think of that always had your interest, but you never had time to focus on it. Even if you are short on time, identify something you want to learn and find fifteen minutes a day, discovering a new aspect or just getting clarity on an old one. You'll be surprised how even 15 minutes a day on your favorite learning lesson will keep you on your toes and enhance your quality of life.

Related Quotes

"The renown which riches or beauty confer is fleeting and frail; mental excellence is a splendid and lasting possession. " -- Sallust

"The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking." -- A.A. Milne

"Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. " -- Sir Richard Steele

"Exercise alone provides psychological and physical benefits. However, if you also adopt a strategy that engages your mind while you exercise, you can get a whole host of psychological benefits fairly quickly." -- James Rippe

"Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind" -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The Welcome Mat Guest Column:

Fake it Til You Make It - Not!
by Judith Brown

I've heard that mantra on and off for many years. Some days it comes in handy, other days not so much. Here's the UP side: "Faking it" can add impetus to your goals. "Faking it" can allow you to penetrate areas where you wouldn't otherwise have an opportunity. Let's face it, "faking it" can be a good thing.

But then there's a dark side: "Faking it" too long can make you lazy. Too lazy to actually learn your craft and truly excel as a true expert in your field.

"Faking it" can breach your integrity. Period. Think about it: if you're "faking it," are you truly who you say you are? And if not, are you misleading your friends, clients, customer base? If so - particularly if you've been "faking it" on an ongoing basis - that makes you a liar, a deceiver, and would YOU even want to do business with a person like that?

And then there's the other down side: eventually the truth will surface. You're "faking it" will be revealed, and your name will be mud. High price to pay just for "faking it."

Bottom line, if there's a need to "fake it" then there's also a need to learn, to study, to become that who you are portraying.

So take a course, or read a book, or phone a friend and discuss the topic and become 'that expert.' Actually learn, study and become that person "for real" Not by merely faking it.

You'll be all the better for it.

Judith Brown is a nationally-published freelance writer out of Harrisburg, PA. Her nearly 30 years' work experience includes county and state governments, non-profit organizations and the advertising industry. Find out more at http://www.THEjblairbrown.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Judith_Brown
http://EzineArticles.com/?Fake-it-Til-You-Make-It---Not!&id=3319882

Working Towards Wholeness: Action Step

[For me, wholeness represents being my best self living my best life. I believe there are 13 keys to living in wholeness (5 Steps, 8 Elements). Each newsletter, I will look at one action step you can take so that you may get one step closer to wholeness]

WHOLENESS KEY: Focus on the Elements
ACTION STEP: Top 3 Reasons to Work Through Your Personal Barriers

Addressing your personal blocks is empowering.
As you begin to acknowledge which of the elements you have problems with, that very acknowledgment is the first step to reclaiming your power. So often, we keep our heads in the sand because that seems safer than looking at something we fear straight in the face. However, whether we choose to look or not, those waves are getting closer. The boy scout's motto of Be prepared is good advice for us all.
Working on one element is usually accompanied by progress in another.
Two for the price of one is always a welcome sales technique. Working on one element and seeing progress in another happens frequently because our underlying beliefs of worthiness or unworthiness are reflected in more than one element. In fact, we have to work pretty hard to maintain all those negative beliefs.
Getting unstuck provides a hidden resource of unlimited energy.
The awful truth is that we have to work pretty hard to maintain all those negative beliefs which keep us frozen in place. As we begin to address and modify our beliefs, we are suddenly filled with what feels like boundless energy to work on manifesting what we want. That feeling alone is a powerful incentive.

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
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Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

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December 3, 2009 - Issue #89 3 Ways to Work on Your Mental Self