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The 3-Minute Coach

June 18, 2009 - Issue #78
Five Things That Waste Your Energy

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Hope you enjoy this issue as much as you're enjoying the season!

In peace, love and gratitude.
Louise

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Food for Thought

"I don't think we're really seeking the meaning of life. I think what we're seeking is an experience of being alive." --- Joseph Campbell

Keep It Simple

Exploring the Root of All Evil - It ain't money!

In the last issue, the Working towards Wholeness Action Step focused on the element money and involved identifying the evidence of money as the root of evil and the root of good. I was contacted by two people (thanks, Bobby and Anne!) who corrected my mistake.

Although the exercise was relevant and had value, it was based on a [common] misstatement of the quotation. They both identified the exact quote for me:

1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil; which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

So, I'm embarrassed that I got it wrong, and I assume that at some time in the past I did know it was the love of money and not money itself that was the root of all evil even though I can't honestly remember a time when I didn't think it was money. But, the LOVE of money makes so much more sense than money itself. Yet, so many of us go around misquoting it, and worse, living as though it was true.

Confusing money with the love of money has been internalized by so many of us. Because we believe it is inherently evil, there is mass conflict about letting ourselves enjoy any money that comes our way, despite the fact that any vision of success includes the money to do what we need and want to do.

I hope that correcting this statement for YOU will help you open the door to money in your own life. Allow the energy and abundance to realize your dreams flow into your life!

Feature Article

Five Things That Waste Your Energy

In order to create that which we most want in our life, we need ENERGY! Sounds obvious, but for many it's a surprising new fact. The first rule of any decent conservation plan is to stop wasting energy. There are many energy-drains that we become oblivious to as we live our life on a day-to-day basis. Here are some energy wasters and how to combat them, so that you can free up your energy and use it to build your dreams.

Needless worry.
Worry over every little thing in your life is one of the most efficient energy drains there is. It's sole purpose appears to be to fill our mind with constant concern over the most mundane things. In that way, we seem to give ourselves a good excuse for not working on what is really important to us.

How to Stop the Leak: Unless you are in immediate physical danger, identify what's worrying you. If you can not control or influence the outcome, let it go. There is a less than 1% chance that the thing you are afraid of will even happen. Stay tuned in to the probabilities and take some long slow deep breaths. Then, focus on what's really important to you!
Doing for the sake of doing.
We live in an action-oriented culture. If we're not doing, we are made to feel guilty. There is little value placed on thinking or planning. We fill up our lives with activity, purposeful or not, just to prove we are doers, as if that alone gives us our value. This is especially true if you are a person who goes inside to process information. The apparent lack of activity on your part is considered to be laziness by those who process information by talking aloud or doing.

How to Stop the Leak: Don't just look at your to-do list. Look at why the item is on your list. Is there true value in it? What would happen if it never got done? Does anyone (including you) really care about this item? Review your list and eliminate the items which you can't even remember why you put them on the list. Then, start focusing your energy by asking the question: What is the most important thing to do RIGHT NOW? Even without paper in front of us, most of us know what that is. Taking care of the most important thing first recaptures energy as we enjoy the completion and feel energized to do the next most important thing. Incompletions are big energy wasters!
Anything broken that needs to be fixed.
At any given time, most of us have a list of things around the house that need fixing or just some attention. Burnt out light bulbs, leaky faucets, anything that must be done 'just so' to make it work, these are just some samples to give you the idea. If it needs your attention, give it!! If you don't, you will spend more energy trying to remember to call the plumber than in actually getting the plumber to your house!

How to Stop the Leak: As Nike says, "Just do it!". The worry about trying to remember to get it done and the annoyance caused by the broken item are serious energy drains.
Trying to be Perfect.
When we focus on being perfect, we consume a lot of valuable energy on a fruitless mission. While we can certainly work on becoming our best self, it's important to note that our best self isn't perfect. It's just the best we can be today and a striving to be even better tomorrow. Perfection is unattainable. That's a simple truth. So spending a lot of energy on getting it 'exactly' right will burn up valuable energy and put us on a hamster wheel of wasted energy.

How to Stop the Leak: Recognize and accept that perfection is not a goal to go after. It is much better (and healthier) to focus on becoming your best self. This will release a lot of energy and self-judgment, which drains even more energy.
Friends who Take, Take, Take your Energy.
I don't know anyone who doesn't have at least one friend like this. Bottom line, it's all about them. It is a waste of time to try to have a dialogue because all they really want is someone to listen to their monologue. Worse, these people seldom want to talk about the good things in their life (apparently, there never is anything good!). You get off the phone, feeling exhausted and you barely said two words. Or, all you got to say was to agree to do whatever they needed.

How to Stop the Leak: Wish this friend well and let them go! Be less accessible to them when they call. Set expectations at the beginning of the call: "Gee, I only have about 10 minutes before I have to xxx." Then be firm about keeping to that 10 minutes. If they don't start calling you less, then I'd say to invest in a caller ID system so you can see who is on the phone. If you don't feel you have the energy to talk to this 'friend', then don't. You can call them back later when you are feeling stronger. This doesn't make you a bad person, just someone who is committed to own self care.

Related Quotes

"Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time." -- Victor Hugo

"Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? How did they work out? Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?" -- Dale Carnegie

"Love is that enviable state that knows no envy or vanity, only empathy and a longing to be greater than oneself." -- Unknown

"The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results." -- Anthony Robbins

"Compassion automatically invites you to relate with people because you no longer regard people as a drain on your energy." -- Chogyam Trungpa

"Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them." -- Henry Ford

Recent Blog Posts

Exercises to Help You Get Recharged
Distinction of the Day: Adjusted To vs Tolerated
MiniMeditation: Diversity
Fortune Cookie Wisdom
Emotional Release: A How To

Working Towards Wholeness: Action Step

[For me, wholeness represents being my best self living my best life. I believe there are 13 keys to living in wholeness (5 Steps, 8 Elements). Each newsletter, I will look at one action step you can take so that you may get one step closer to wholeness]

WHOLENESS KEY: Focus on the Elements
ELEMENT: Purposeful Action
ACTION STEP: Identifying Your Purposeful Action

Purposeful action is one of the elements I don't mention as often as I do many of the other elements. To refresh your memory, here is my explanation of purposeful action. Purposeful action is just that: somewhere in our lives there is enough focused activity that gives us a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, a sense of a job well done. It can be expressed in our careers, our families, or our communities; it can be creative, practical or political; it can be paid or volunteered. The possibilities are endless, but it must be present in some form for us to feel like we are being our best self.

Using your calendar, or just your memory, make a list of everything you've done in the last week. Start with today and work backwards. If actions are repeated, do not re-include them.
On a scale of 1-5, with 1 being the least and 5 being the most, identify the degree to which you enjoy(ed) each activity.
Look at those activities which have a 4 or 5 next to them.
Identify WHY you enjoy those activities. How do you feel when doing those activities?
Do you think it's possible that those activities are linked to your life purpose?
How can you work your schedule to allow more of the 4's and 5's into it?

This is a great exercise to start the awareness of what you consider your 'purposeful action'.

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
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Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

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