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The 3-Minute Coach

May 21, 2009 - Issue #76
Breaking the Worry Addiction

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

The year is flying by! It's hard to believe it's mid-May already. I hope you are enjoying whatever season you are in and preparing for summer or winter, depending on where you're located. In eastern Pennsylvania, we're having some crazy weather. It can't seem to make up it's mind as we go from 50 to 80 to 50, a week of rain, a week of sun. It's been creating havoc with my schedule, so this issue is a little light. I had this ready for last Thursday, but was hit with a bug that zapped all my energy. So it's both a day late AND a dollar short! Hope you are feeling great!

In peace, love and gratitude.
Louise

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Food for Thought

"You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough." --- William Blake

Keep It Simple

Conquer Your Mountain of Clutter

Build white space into your calendar.
Don't schedule tasks to consume every working and waking moment. Plan for about 80-percent capacity. That means for a forty-hour work week, schedule about thirty hours of work and know that another ten hours of "stuff" will appear unexpectedly.

Be wary of high-tech timesaving devices.
High-tech mean high-time. Before buying any "timesaving" gadget, consider the hidden investment of time in its use; time to select and purchase it, time to learn how to operate it, time to set up and secure it, time to refurbish or repair it, and time to replace it.

Clutter your to-do list, not your mind.
Your mind can only hold about seven chunks of information at once, so why push your luck? If you have flashes of brilliance when you're in the shower, out for a walk, or driving on the freeway, write them down immediately rather than trying to juggle them in your mind.

Work in marathons.
Marathons serve two purposes: to catch up or to get ahead. When you feel as if you're slipping farther and farther behind, do a work marathon to catch up. Arrive early. Work late. Don't allow interruptions and don't repeat anything. Work fast, and don't look up between tasks. Put in three or or four days like that, and you'll feel caught up enough to face the world again.

Complete things.
Bonuses come upon the completion of projects. Signed contracts come at the end of negotiations. Points go on the scoreboard only when the runner crosses the goal line. One thing completed is worth ten things on hold. Incomplete tasks can you feel depressed and wasted; you will feel energized after completing them.

By Diana Bocher, from Get a Life Without Sacrificing Your Career via Alice Gray, Steve Stephens and John Van Diest in Lists to Live By, the Third Collection.

Feature Article

Breaking the Worry Addiction

Addiction is defined by The Free Dictionary as the compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance. There are many addictions and organizations that offer support for each of them. Some of the more obvious are drugs, food, sex and gambling. Everyone knows of cases where the addiction to any of these has destroyed a life. While there are different degrees of destruction, no matter how they affect our lives, all addictions get in the way of being your best self.

To be your best self, it is necessary to be in control of your life. The term addiction implies that something else is in control. While all of these external substances are dangerous, I actually believe that there is an addiction that is even more alarming. It is an internal state of mind that takes over and spoils our lives: worry!

Feeling uneasy or anxious about events going on may be appropriate, depending on the situation. The worry that concerns me is that vague, persistent, constant apprehension about what "might" happen in the future, no matter how slim a chance there is of it actually happening. Worry over possible eventualities consumes our thoughts until the event happens. There is no peace, no relief from the apprehension of impending doom. Past experience that nothing does or will happen doesn't count at all.

If you suffer from worry, it may appear to be bigger than you. However, it is no more powerful than any other emotion. WE are more powerful than all of them. So, even if you've never tried to get in control of your worry, take heart. It is entirely possible to do. Here are some suggestions to get worry behind thee!

1. Face the worst that could happen.
The issue with worry as I am talking about it is that it stays vague and nebulous. It has no frame or picture. It is just "something" bad that "could" happen. The way to dissipate this fear is to look it straight in the face. Ask yourself "what is the worst that could happen?" Usually you need a few of these questions to get down to the deepest fear. For example, you may answer in turn to the repeated question "what's the worst that could happen if you have to go on a long drive: an accident, getting hurt, getting hurt badly, going to the hospital, losing time off work, losing money, etc. You see how it goes. However, once you get to your bottom line concern, you can actually start breathing again. The interesting thing is that once you get specific about the concern, you automatically go into 'solution mode'. You start brainstorming what you would do if that really did happen.

2. Wait til "it" happens.
Save your worry for right before and during the event. Allow yourself the freedom of staying in the moment. In the moments preceding the event, there is no danger, perceived or otherwise. All the worry does is sap you of energy. When you are actually in the situation (whether it really requires worry or not), the worry may keep you alert and may be a good thing. BUT, it must be in the moment when it is appropriate.

3. Breathe deeply and often.
Taking long, slow, deep breaths, allowing your mind to wrap around the process of breathing, calms you down and disarms the worry. This is a very beneficial technique that can be practiced anywhere as people expect you to breathe! Very often, one of the things that happens when we are worried is that our breathing becomes very shallow and the lack of oxygen inflames the worry.

4. Figure out what is REALLy going on.
Just the way that long slow breaths clear the mind and turn off all the chatter, worry's main benefit is that it fills the mind with chatter. If we are too afraid to look at what really concerns us (which probably has nothing to do with what we keep our focus on), worrying about this and that keeps us safe. We busy our mind with worry so that there is no time or space to acknowledge the deeper issue. Be willing to face your fear and you will be free of the need for worry.

5. Recognize that there are degrees of rain/snow/the elements.
My mother is a person who worries about the weather. She watches the Weather Channel and starts to worry on Monday if it's supposed to rain on Friday, whether or not anyone has plans to drive in it and regardless of what time of year it is. We don't have a lot of torrential rain around here, but she worries about each threatened rain storm as though it will be. Also, the low percentage that our meteorologists nail the weather report doesn't stop her concern. It is important to recognize that not every rain, snow or other natural element is the dangerous, life-threatening kind.

6. Seek a medical or herbal solution.
While it's certainly not my first choice, if you are unable to gain control over your worry, I would definitely recommend talking to your doctor or naturopath or other alternative healer for a medical, physical or herbal solution. There are a number of modalities that could provide you with freedom from worry. Be strong enough to accept help. You deserve to be at peace. Allow it to come in any form that works and makes you comfortable.

Related Quotes

"The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work." -- Robert Frost

"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." -- Benjamin Franklin

"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything." -- Mary Hemingway

"If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?" -- Shantideva

"If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it." -- George Burns

"Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night." -- Unknown

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Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

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