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The 3-Minute Coach

April 30, 2009 - Issue #75
How to Maintain Peace of Mind in Turbulent Times

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Gosh, it's the last day of April! How DID that happen? I hope you are ready to sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the wisdom contained within! Please send me any feedback or suggestions.

Also, today's the last day to take advantage of the Spring Special. Please contact me if you are interested in a 33% savings.

In peace, love and gratitude.
Louise

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Want to jump-start a project you've had on hold?

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Although coaching is often considered an "ongoing" process and most coaches have different monthly formats, that is certainly not the only way to utilize the services of a coach. Having a one-time or occasional session can help you in all of the ways identified above, plus more!

Most people are surprised at how much can be accomplished in a single 40-60 minute call. Best of all, there is no time commitment, no contractual arrangement! Why not experience it for yourself?

For the month of April, I am offering a Diamond Clarifier (1 40-60 minute session) for 33% off. If you use the code [3MC] when you contact me for a session, you will pay $50 instead of $75. How cool is that??

Use the contact page to submit your interest.
Please include your name, phone number,location and mention 3MC. I'll contact you by email to determine the best day/time for our call. Our session will be by phone or Skype, so location is not an obstacle.

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Food for Thought

"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone." --- Lin Yutang

Keep It Simple

The Sweet Compulsion

I was recently surfing channels and found a show that my mother liked, and one that intrigued me greatly. It was on EWTN and was a priest or friar talking about Christ. I believe it was right before Easter, but he kept talking about Christ's 'sweet compulsion' to save humanity, to go through the ordeal he went through for us.

I was really captured by the phrase 'sweet compulsion'. What a beautiful way to describe our life purpose. That is exactly how I feel about mine: it's a compulsion to do what I do (help others connect to their own power and greatness, to focus on becoming their best self) and it sure is 'sweet'. There is very little that brings me as much joy and inner peace. I'm not a saint by any stretch of the imagination (just ask my family about my shortcomings!), but when I am living my life purpose, by sharing my wisdom in my coaching practice or writing, I do feel connected to the Oneness that we speak of as God (whatever our particular name for Him is).

In fact, I think the simplest way to identify your life purpose is to look at what you do in your life today that brings you joy. We all think that our life purpose is 'out there' somewhere and that we have no clue what it is. That is miles away from the truth. Make a record of all the actions you take and identify the different feelings associated with each one. Then look at the ones that make you happiest and figure out what is the common link between them. For almost all of us there is an element of service to others involved in our life purpose. No matter how humble or grand the scale of those actions, you can be sure that they are related to your life purpose.

Sometimes, we serve others just by living our life in a certain way, without actually interacting with others. Just focus on the joy and think of the phrase 'sweet compulsion' as you look at your list. If it is truly your life purpose, you will feel that sweet compulsion deeply. It will resonate in your soul and you will understand that you are already living your purpose!

Feature Article

How to Maintain Peace of Mind in Turbulent Times

These are crazy times we are living in. Everything seems topsy-turvy and fear is in the air. The future hasn't seemed this uncertain in a long time (at least not in my memory). Everywhere we turn, we hear bad news. Whether it's affecting us directly or our next door neighbor, it doesn't seem like we can get away from the stress.

No matter the craziness, however, it IS possible to regain and maintain peace of mind. You can stay cool, calm and collected no matter what seems to be happening around you. Here are some ways to do just that:

Turn off (or at least limit) TV news.
In my opinion, taking just this one step will do more for your peace of mind than all the others combined. While it's nice to have access to news around the clock, the advent of 24/7 news channels has undermined the peace of mind of this country, and indeed, the world.
Unfortunately for us, good news is NOT news and therefore we are constantly faced with images and stories of the bad things that are going on out there, over and over in order to fill up the 24 hour time slots. Turn it off or identify a maximum time you allow yourself to watch the news. In the good old days, we received our news in 2 30-minute time frames, at 6pm and 11pm. Somehow we managed to stay well-informed and in control. Personally, this is my current goal for news consumption.

Breathe deeply and keep breathing.
Another way to become and maintain calm is to keep breathing. Long, slow, deep breaths will help you get into 'the zone', that place where you get in touch with your wisdom, where you feel at One with God and the Universe. It's the place where you know that 'this too shall pass' and what you need to do to not become overwhelmed.

Focus on what's good in your life (gratitude).
A surprising way to feel calm and peaceful is to feel gratitude for all the good things in our life. When we focus on and appreciate the blessings already in our life, it's hard not to smile. When we smile, it's hard to lose our peace of mind. In addition, the more gratitude we feel, the more things we get in our life to feel grateful about.

Focus on what you have control over.
A great way to lose peace of mind is to try to control the things we have no control over. It's a sure way to madness. While I do believe that we create our own reality (and yes, that means that collectively we are creating these economic times), the one thing we can impact and influence today is that over which we have direct control. No matter how big or small, taking back control helps us connect to our power and it's very hard to not feel peace of mind when we feel in control.

Perfect time to declutter and use that nervous energy.
The worst thing we can do when we feel stressed and over-whelmed is to sit around and focus on the fear. We all know where that negative thinking takes us, and trust me, it is at the opposite extreme of 'peace of mind'. When you find yourself getting hyper, stand up and start putting that energy to use. Clean out the refrigerator, organize your closet, tackle the mess in the garage, do the laundry. Do whatever needs to be done and you will regain that feeling of control and peace that is critical to riding though the storm.

Get into nature, regardless of weather. Drink deeply of the fresh air and notice the immenseness.
No matter how I'm feeling, a drive or walk in the country renews, regenerates and refreshes me. I feel calm and peaceful and look forward to returning home again to 'get working'. For me, it's reconnecting to my spiritual self just by really paying attention to the beautiful scenery around me. The best thing about this strategy is that it's right outside your door and it's free!

Help others stay calm. Another unusual suggestion for maintaining your own serenity is to help others maintain theirs. When we choose to be a role model and go all out to assist others in maintaining calm, it is necessary that our serenity be sincere. We can all see through a fake emotion (although we might only feel uncomfortable without being able to explain why), so in order to alleviate the stress of those around you, you must be calm yourself. That's a great gift to both you AND them.

Keep working, that is, don't give up.
No matter what your job is, even if right now it's looking for work, don't give up. There's a positive energy cycle that goes something like this: the calmer you are, the more upbeat you are and the better chance you have of success. The more upbeat and persistent you are, the calmer you get. It's magical and works well!

Pray, meditate, listen to favorite (calming) music.
With the TV turned off, you'll have plenty of time to get into other activities so it makes sense to pick activities that promote calmness. This includes praying, meditating, listening to music, walking, reading, certain exercises (yoga, for example), anything that helps you refocus and luxuriate in tranquility and peace of mind.

And did I mention deep breathing?
I can not over-emphasize the power of deep breathing. When you focus on the process of breathing, slowing each breath and exhaling loudly, the chatter in your mind gets turned off. Always do at least 3 breaths, each one slower and deeper than the last. This is something you can do wherever you are, no matter the situation. Most people will be unaware that you are entering the no-stress zone where peace of mind is the order of the day. If necessary, set the alarm on your watch to go off every 30 or 60 minutes to help keep you calm and centered.

Try practicing these various steps on a regular basis and see if it doesn't help you feel back in control and able to handle whatever life throws your way.

Related Quotes

"If you want peace, stop fighting. If you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts." -- Peter McWilliams

"There are many things that are essential to arriving at true peace of mind, and one of the most important is faith, which cannot be acquired without prayer." -- John Wooden

"Human beings are of such nature that they should have not only material facilities but spiritual sustenance as well. Without spiritual sustenance, it is difficult to get and maintain peace of mind." -- Dalai Lama

"Whatever we are waiting for - peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance - it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart." -- Sarah Ban Breathnach

"You find that you have peace of mind and can enjoy yourself, get more sleep, and rest when you know that it was a one hundred percent effort that you gave - win or lose." -- Gordie Howe

"There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else." -- Peyton Conway March

Recent Blog Posts

Perfect vs. Ideal / But: baaad; And: goood / Having trouble finding a place to find quiet? / Making the Shift: From Distracted to Attentive / Push vs pull: You Pick!

The Welcome Mat Guest Column:

The Wisdom of a Water Noodle
by Karen Hood-Caddy

Here is a great story a client of mine, Kelly, told me (with permission) about her son, Riley.

Riley was struggling to tread water so he could pass a test for swimming that would allow him to swim in the deep end at camp. Kelly knew he was capable-he knew how to tread water, and was strong, however he hadn't been successful. He'd go for 20 seconds, see that 60 seconds was way too far away, panic, and abort.

She'd ask if he wanted to practice. He said no. He had gotten discouraged. She knew he would love the freedom to swim in the deep end on his own at the camp, so she suggested he try going in the deep end and she would tread water beside him, with one of those floaty noodles. She explained that marathon runners prepare for long distance by running awhile then walking awhile to rest. By doing that, they build up endurance. Riley understood this.

She agreed to stay beside him with the noodle. After he did 20 seconds, he would rest, and hold on to the noodle. Then, when ready, he would do another 20 seconds plus one second, then rest again. Then he would do the final 20 seconds plus 2 seconds. That way he would experience what doing the whole thing would feel like. We could build up his endurance to do the whole thing on his own.

They tried this process. In three tries, he did the whole thing all on his own.

I love this story. It illustrates that when we let ourselves (or our loved ones) learn one step at a time and provide LOTS of support, learning happens faster and easier. For me this means a lot because last year I decided to double the amount of support I gave myself. I got more coaching for myself, I signed up for tele-classes, I read more. The result? I had one of my best years ever!

If you'd like to go further than you've ever gone before, give me a call for a free 30-minute, over the phone, Idea session. There is no obligation to go further and at the end of it you'll have a ton of ideas and strategies. Besides, the long distance is on me!

Karen Hood-Caddy is a Create-Your-Best Life Coach. She specializes in helping people deal with whatever is in the way of having awesome relationships, successful creative projects and wonderful lives. Visit her website at http://www.personalbest.org and request a complimentary Idea session or sign up for her free newsletter.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_Hood-Caddy
http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Wisdom-of-a-Water-Noodle&id=2251376

Working Towards Wholeness: Action Step

[For me, wholeness represents being my best self living my best life. I believe there are 13 keys to living in wholeness (5 Steps, 8 Elements). Each newsletter, I will look at one action step you can take so that you may get one step closer to wholeness]

WHOLENESS KEY: Live in the Present
ACTION STEP: Practice a Ministry of Presence.

Not too long ago, I was at a funeral and the priest talked about the 'ministry of presence', our one true gift to others. As it was at the funeral of a young man, it was a stark reminder of how important it is to be completely present with all those around us, in particular those we love most.

I define the 'ministry of presence' as giving 100% of your undivided attention to whomever or whatever is before you. To practice this, here are some questions I recommend you get in the habit of asking yourself. The more often you ask the questions, the quicker you will get to a place where no reminders are necessary.

Here are the questions:

Am I 100% present in the here and now?
Am I giving this person (or situation) my undivided attention?.
If I'm not here 100%, then to what percentage am I here?
Where is the rest of me?
How can I gently bring myself back to the here and now?
Does this person or situation deserve 100% of me?
Am I willing to give them what they deserve?
What will be the benefit to THEM if I give them 100%?
what will be the benefit to ME if I give them/it 100%?

While it may seem like you will need a lot of time to go through this list of questions, after a while, your answer to the first question will be all you need. If the answer is no, you'll just bring yourself back to the present. Doing that will enrich all the relationships in your life, as well as your positive self regard. That added benefit is from being committed to the people in your life.

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Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-484-660-3143
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Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

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