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The 3-Minute Coach

April 16, 2009 - Issue #74
15 Ways to Define Being "In" Integrity

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Welcome to the mid-April issue of The 3 Minute Coach. Lots of meat here, AND an offer to celebrate Spring (or Fall, depending where you are!) I hope you enjoy all the sections. Please send me any feedback or suggestions.

In peace, love and gratitude.
Louise

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Use the contact page to submit your interest.
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Food for Thought

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak." --- Hans Hoffman

Keep It Simple

Do Less

Do less thinking --- and pay more attention to your heart.
Do less acquiring --- and pay more attention to what you already have.
Do less complaining --- and pay more attention to giving.
Do less controlling DO LESS CONTROLLING
Do less criticizing --- and pay more attention to complimenting.
Do less arguing --- and pay more attention to forgiveness.
Do less running around --- and pay more attention to stillness.
Do less talking --- and pay more attention to silence.

By Lee L. Jampolsky, from Smile for No Good Reason via Alice Gray, Steve Stephens and John Van Diest in Lists to Live By, the Third Collection.

Feature Article

15 Ways to Define Being "In" Integrity

I talk a lot about being "in" integrity. To me, it's crystal clear to just use those words. However, there are many other ways to describe the sensation of being 'in' integrity and here are just a few.

Ensuring that your actions match your words which match your beliefs.

Being true to every part of yourself: mental, physical, emotional, spiritual.

Doing the right thing when no one is looking.

Striving at all times to be your best self.

Maintaining peace of mind in all situations.

Doing the right thing at the right time for the right reason.

Living up to your own standards and enforcing your own boundaries.

Understanding that being 'in' integrity isn't the same for everyone.

Being impeccable with your word.

Not taking anything personally.

Not making assumptions.

Always doing your best and giving your best.

Being willing to risk looking silly.

Being willing to question what you do and how you do it.

Looking for and finding the best in others.

"Those are my definitions of integrity, what are some of yours? Email or twitter them to me and I'll include them in the next newsletter!"

Related Quotes

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not." -- Oprah Winfrey

"When I'm not doing something that comes deeply from me, I get bored. When I get bored I get distracted and when I get distracted, I become depressed. It's a natural resistance, and it insures your integrity." -- Maria Irene Fornes

"One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present." -- Stephen Covey

"The reward for doing right is mostly an internal phenomenon: self-respect, dignity, integrity, and self-esteem." -- Dr. Laura Schlessinger

"Be sure that it is not you that is mortal, but only your body. For that man whom your outward form reveals is not yourself; the spirit is the true self, not that physical figure which and be pointed out by your finger." -- Cicero

"Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority." -- Tom Hopkins

Recent Blog Posts

Are you crying over spilt milk? / MiniMeditation: Peace / Become a philanthropist / Eliminate the word should from your vocabulary / From one winner to another

The Welcome Mat Guest Column:

Seize the Opportunity
by Al Duncan

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized” -Sun Tzu

One of the biggest mistakes people make is spending too much time looking for the big opportunity or the perfect timing to do something. The over-used axiom “Patience is a virtue” is irrefutable. But it is equally true that “he who hesitates is lost”. Seize the opportunity.

There is a thin line between patience and procrastination. Unfortunately way too many people spend far too much time on the procrastination side of things.

Patience is taking a well-calculated risk. Procrastination is avoiding risk.

Patience is taking the time to learn what to do. Procrastination is knowing what to do and not doing it.

Patience is saying, “I’ll finish this by_____.” Procrastination is saying, “I’ll get to it sooner or later.”

There are dozens of tips and techniques for overcoming procrastination and seizing opportunities. Here are three:

Start cooking while the pot is hot.
The best time to build momentum is when you first think of an idea or start on a task. This is the time to create some small steps that you can take right away and use to measure your progress.

Have a sense of last minute urgency all the time.
Have you ever noticed that normally people finish a task just in the nick of time? This is because a task will expand to the allotted time. Think about that. A person can have two months to do something and finish it in two days. Of course it’s usually the last two days before it’s due! Last minute urgency creates an incredible amount of energy and drive.

Weed out worry.
Earl Nightingale wrote about what he called the “Fog of Worry” and provided an authoritative estimate of what most people worry about.
- 40% of the things you worry about will never happen.
- 30% of the things you worry about couldn’t be changed by all the worrying in the world.
- 12% of your worries are needless worries about your health.
- 10% of your worries are about petty, miscellaneous things.
- 8% of your worries are about real and legitimate concerns. In other words, 92% of your worrying is a complete waste of time.

Here’s one last thing in closing.

Keep in mind that opportunities don’t disappear they simply move on to next recipient. An opportunity that comes your way is probably an opportunity that someone else procrastinated or passed on. If you pass up on a good opportunity someone else will capitalize on it.

Remember, every time you seize the opportunity, the gate to infinite possibilities swings wide open in front of you.

Al Duncan—The Millennial Mentor™—is a World-Class Motivational Speaker, an author, and a renowned Youth Speaker. Visit him online at www.alduncan.net

Working Towards Wholeness: Action Step

[For me, wholeness represents being my best self living my best life. I believe there are 13 keys to living in wholeness (5 Steps, 8 Elements). Each newsletter, I will look at one action step you can take so that you may get one step closer to wholeness]

WHOLENESS KEY: Focus on the Elements
ELEMENT: Love
ACTION STEP: Helping others "feel" loved.

I was recently having a conversation with a client about relationships and we uncovered an interesting fact: Sometimes, the way we need to show love isn't the way that others need to feel love.

I'm sure there are many books written on this subject, but we came up with a simple way to find out how the other important people in your life get to feel loved. Just pay attention to how they show love to you.

For the most part, we know what makes us feel loved, so we assume that is true for everyone else. When we encounter others we love, we show them our love by what works for us. Most of us don't even think about, let alone talk about it, so it's not surprising that we don't 'get' that there are different ways to show and feel loved. Some examples might be:

Physical demonstration, lots and lots of hugs
Small gifts or 'necessities' that say "I was thinking about you when you weren't in my face'.
Saying, frequently, "I love you".
Asking pertinent questions about your day, how you're feeling, what you think about things, etc.
Working their butt off to provide the other person with stability, security, food, shelter.

Here are some ideas to make use of this information:

Once you notice how they are showing love to you, and you know how you show love to them, try an experiment. Within a half hour period, show them love in two ways. First, show it your normal way and then within 20 to 30 minutes, show them love the way you notice they show you love. Check out the reaction from each. Which one seemed to be felt deeper? Which one got the biggest smile? Wow! Just think what it would do to your relationship if you always got that biggest smile!
Either share the experiment or tell the others in your life what really makes you feel loved. Unless it's pointed out to us, most of us don't get this 'intuitively'. Why sit around waiting for them to figure it out when you could be feeling loved? After all, you needed someone to point it out to you!
If the other person shows their love by working their butt off to make your life better, I think the simplest way to have them feel love is to acknowledge what they do and how much you appreciate it.
What makes me feel loved might be different depending on who the person is (a parent vs a spouse, for example)
We probably need all the different forms of being shown love at different times, depending on what we're experiencing at the time. However, there is one that is dominant for each of us, one that will do the trick most of the time.
It is possible to experience the shift of "knowing" that you are loved to "feeling" you are loved. And feeling that you are loved may be one of the greatest tonics ever.

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-484-660-3143
Email:

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Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

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