Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

February 26, 2009 Issue #71
Connectivity: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Earlier this week, I transferred my ezine list to Aweber. Because of that transfer, you received a 'welcome' letter for subscribing to The 3 Minute Coach. I didn't realize that would happen with names I uploaded (which I was able to do because at sometime in the past, you all double opted-in to receive The 3 Minute Coach. I'm sorry for any confusion that may have caused!

A terrible bug has laid me out flat for over two weeks now, so I haven't been too active with the blog. However, if you'd like to be notified by email of when I do post to the blog, please follow this link.

Another new feature of the site that I've been working on is the addition of a Store. I'm currently working on an ecourse and ebook that I will be offering for sale, but that's still down the road. In the meantime, I have many great recommendations, both for product and books. If you'd like to see the new section, you can visit here. I hope you enjoy this issue. Please send me any feedback or suggestions.

In peace, love and gratitude.
Louise

Food for Thought

"Efficiency is intelligent laziness." --- Anonymous

Keep It Simple

Ditch, Do or Delegate

Do you have a to-do list that feels a mile long? Do your shoulders tense up when you think about tackling it? One of the best ways to navigate through such a list is to use the "Touch It Once" principle and take one of the 3 following steps with each item.

1. Ditch.
How long has it been on your list? The longer it's been on your last, the better the chance that it doesn't need to be done at all anymore. Many things that we put on our list lose importance and urgency. Evaluate whether or not the item still needs to be done. If not, cross it off!

2. Delegate.
Ok, the item needs to be done, but do YOU need to do it? The art of delegation is one of the hardest to master. So many of us are afraid that if wen don't do something ourself, it won't be done correctly. Because of that fear, we hold keep items on our list that should have been finished a long time ago. While it takes practice to 'let go', this one skill -- assigning a responsibility to someone else, allow them to learn, to utilize their talents -- will help you become a "leader of people" and not a "manager of projects".

3. Do.
There's not much to add to this. If the item makes it to stage 3, then the best way to get it off your list is to, in Nike's words, "Just Do It!". Break it into manageable chunks if necessary and work on it each day. You can also lump like items together. For example, devote an hour to making all phone calls on your list. You develop a flow this way that makes you more effective and efficient. Pay attention to your personal cycle. Do the work that needs creativity and focus at the time of day that's peak for you.

Feature Article

Connectivity: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly

One day I was outside a local hospital, waiting for my mother to finish some bloodwork. I sat there, in the middle of rural Pennsylvania, and realized that almost every person that walked by me was talking on a cell phone. It was almost other-wordly, and even reminded me of being in a casino at 5am in the morning before most other people were awake. It was just me and all those one-armed bandits!

As I watched people walk by, I started thinking about the technological wonder we call connectivity. I believe it actually has a range of impacts on our society, which I've broken down into the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The Good
We're, well, connected! Anytime, day or night, we can contact or be contacted by whomever we need to connect to. We find out what we need to find out almost instantly. We no longer need to plan travel routes to make sure we know where the payphones are. We don't worry about being stranded the same way we did in the past as we are only a call away from help. There is no question that cell phones allow us to feel more secure than ever before.

The Bad
The flip side of that connectivity, at least in my opinion, is the total loss of privacy we now experience. There is an expectation that, if we have a cell phone, we will be available to whomever is trying to contact us, no matter what we're doing or where we are. We are no longer allowed quiet time, and sadly, many people seem to prefer that. I believe it's hard, if not impossible, to stay present in the moment, in the here and now, when our minds and conversation are over there.

The Ugly
While the bad side of connectivity is unpleasant, it's also a choice we make and part of the price we pay for the advantage. The 'ugly', on the other hand, I believe is downright dangerous and seems to be an unexpected by-product. For example, without thinking, we can needlessly endanger others, espcially if we are in a car while focused on a phone call. On top of that very real danger, there are other, more subtle, dangers. We can experience sensory overload and lose the ability (or time) to refresh and rejuvenate our minds. And, perhaps ugliest of all for me, I know more about strangers' lives than I want to know. It is amazing to me how people on cell phones seem to be unaware of all the people that are hearing the intimate details of their lives. Or, more probably, know but don't seem to care. I find this disturbing as I personally don't want to live in a fishbowl, neither mine or someone else's.

I know that there is no stopping the advance of technology. I also know that I wouldn't want to stop it. There is so much about the technology that I love. However, I am also making a conscious choice to not be 'taken over' by it. I assert my right to keep technology as a tool that serves me, and not a master that enslaves me.

Related Quotes

"Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it." -- Max Frisch

"For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three" -- Alice Kahn

"Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. " -- R. Buckminster Fuller

"Technology... the knack of so arranging the world that we don't have to experience it. " -- Max Frisch

"It seems to me, Golan, that the advance of civilization is nothing but an exercise in the limiting of privacy. " -- Janov Pelorat in Asimov's Foundation's Edge

"Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation...tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego. His anxiety subsides. His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation." -- Jean Arp

"Western society has accepted as unquestionable a technological imperative that is quite as arbitrary as the most primitive taboo: not merely the duty to foster invention and constantly to create technological novelties, but equally the duty to surrender to these novelties unconditionally, just because they are offered, without respect to their human consequences. " -- Lewis Mumford

"We are becoming the servants in thought, as in action, of the machine we have created to serve us." -- John Kenneth Galbraith

The Welcome Mat Guest Column:

Here's What I Want
tom walsh

I was thinking the other day about the things that I truly want in life. It's kind of funny, but riches and fame and material things didn't even make the list. While I would like to have enough money to be financially solvent, and I would like to stop losing money in certain ventures, it truly isn't one of my highest priorities in life. We have enough to get by, and enough to get by is enough. And I trust that if an emergency comes for which we'll need more, we'll have more.

But my list was more involved with the things that make me feel valuable, and that make me feel accepted and loved and appreciated. And many of the things that I want, I already have, so my list isn't a wish list, but a want list of wants that are for the most part fulfilled.

Here's what I want, in no particular order:

I want to receive messages that validate me or my actions. They don't have to be huge shows of gratitude or appreciation or admiration, but it helps me a lot to hear that somebody has noticed what I do and does appreciate it. Most of us do a huge amount of work that no one ever acknowledges, and we often wonder if our work is worth it. A simple "nice job" now and then can do wonders.

I want to see evidence that I'm accepted for who I am, just as I am. Again, the evidence doesn't have to be lavish or extreme, just a little kind word now and then that tells me that some people appreciate my presence.

I want to see indications that I'm doing things well. Ironically enough, I've found that the people who do the best work hear the least feedback, for there's no need to correct them. While I don't need feedback in order to continue to do things well, it can provide that "breath of fresh air" that can help us to go on with what we're doing.

I want to see signs that my future is bright. If I work very hard to make the present positive, it can be very discouraging not to have any indication that what I'm doing today is going to affect the future in a positive way.

I want to hear words of encouragement. They help me to put things into perspective, and they help me to put more energy and effort into the things that I do.

I want to be reminded of my value as a person. I do have value, and I know in my heart that my knowledge of that fact is all I really need, but what a lift it is when someone else takes the time and makes the effort to remind me of this!

I want to receive assurance that I matter, that I count for something in this world. If I start to think that I'm just using up precious air, water, food, and space, life can become very difficult to get through. I know that I do matter, but do others recognize it, too?

I want to believe truly that I've made a difference in the world, some way, somehow. This would let me know that all of my efforts haven't been in vain, and haven't gone unnoticed or unused. Even if it's a very small effect, almost unnoticeable in this huge world of ours, just knowing that I've contributed something positive would make a great difference to me.

Why do I tell you these things? That's simple--look around yourself sometime today, and notice all the people who are there with you. Try to remember that all of these people, no matter their age, size, religion, race, nationality, or gender, would love to have these very same things. Your husband or wife, your daughter or son, your parents, aunts, cousins, and neighbors, all would benefit from someone giving them even one of these gifts. The woman at the register in the supermarket, your co-workers, your boss or your subordinates or the waiter in the restaurant--any of them would love to hear words that would fulfill one of these wants.

And what's even more important is the fact that you have the ability to fulfill these wants. It doesn't cost you anything at all, and the potential benefits are huge. If these wants go unfulfilled, people find anger, depression, frustration, envy, and all sorts of other things to take their place.

The power to change the world is in your hands, and it's in my hands. If we start to fulfill these wants in other people--on a very regular basis--we can start to transform this beautiful world that we live in.

So, who will be the first beneficiary of your giving?

tom walsh is a student of life and living with a Ph.D. in Teaching and Learning, who hopes to use what he's learned about teaching to pass on what he's learned from life. Visit www.livinglifefully.com for articles and essays, and much, much more!

This-N-That

Happiness Habit Email

Message from my good friend, Kim Cardeccia of Hidden Promise:

We at Hidden Promise would like to invite you to participate in our Happiness Habit e-mail "sunshine". It's been along, cold winter, and we're ready for some relief, and we want to share.

A common belief is that it takes 21 days to establish a habit. Knowing that, we thought it would be a fantastic excuse to form a positive habit of experiencing a moment of sunshine. Of course, here in Michigan, we'll have to be a bit figurative....

So, our "sunshine" will be sent out in a brief e-mail. For 21 days, we'll offer the chance to take a break and experience a moment of calm and peace~~maybe even inspiration. Adding these moments of brightness to our days will help pause the stress and increase our happiness. Hopefully, it will become a habit~~a happiness habit.

To create your new Happiness Habit, sign up at www.hiddenpromisecampus.com before March 1st!

Working Towards Wholeness: Action Step

[For me, wholeness represents being my best self living my best life. I believe there are 13 keys to living in wholeness (5 Steps, 8 Elements). Each newsletter, I will look at one action step you can take so that you may get one step closer to wholeness]

WHOLENESS KEY: Focus on the Elements.
ELEMENT: Strong Sense of Self
ACTION STEP: Identify Your Rolemodel Qualities (Values)

As part of a workshop assignment, I was asked to identify 3 qualities that I would choose to model for others. Within a very few moments, I had my answer: compassion, respect, and wholeness. This reverberated with me so strongly that I soon realized that if I were able to live these three qualities to their fullest expression, I would be "in" integrity with the essence of my being. These were the very heart of my core values and talked louder of who I am than anything I had come across before. Stronger than I can remember, they seem to answer the question of Who Am I? and Why am I here?

I soon experimented with some of my clients. Their answers included: (1) sharing, self-expression, intelligence; (2) dedication, loyalty, intelligence and (3) creativity, love, enthusiasm. All different. All extremely expressive of the individuals who chose them. In each case, the answers took just a few moments to come up with. In each case, the individual involved felt that this was the essence of who they were. They also felt energized and powerful.

This is one of those exciting discoveries that I want to share with everyone. No matter what you're struggling with, getting in touch with those three qualities seems to have the effect of lifting you above the situation. It lifts you up to a place where alternatives - choices - are visible. And once we're in choice, we stop being victims and claim the power to create the reality we want.

So, start with the question. What three qualities do you want to model for others? Once you've identified your three, write them down and post them prominently.

Refer to them often. Go through your day seeking to express them each to their fullest. Pay attention to those activities that are most in harmony with those qualities. Notice when in the past you've most been in alignment with them. Do you get to express them in your work? In your family? Who can you express them around? And who not? Start noticing when all three get expressed together. For example, thinking about my three (compassion, respect, wholeness), I understood why I am so passionate about coaching. It is such a natural opportunity for me to get to express these core attributes - and myself.

I hope you'll try this simple exercise. Of course, this is one of those "simple, but not easy" things. Identifying the three qualities is simple, but living them fully each day may be one of the most challenging endeavors you ever undertake.

Three-Minute Tools

Test Drive -- COMPLIMENTARY COACHING
Get insight into an existing situation or problem.
Experience first-hand the benefits of an impartial sounding board

Coaching Fee -- $50 per hour. You decide how often and how frequently you schedule your sessions.

"Other coaches might be talented, or well-trained in techniques but Louise is GIFTED in what she does. It's a completely different experience that breaks through FAST!"
Anthony Warren, Executive Coach, London, UK

Blueprint for Success -- RECLAIM YOUR ENERGY AND GET THE RESULTS YOU WANT
Blueprint for Success.Ebooklet by Louise Morganti Kaelin. Get F/ree when you join The 3-Minute Coach

PDFs & More -- F/REE TOOLS & INVENTORIES. Available for immediate download!

All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-484-660-3143
Email:

Thanks for reading The 3-Minute Coach. Help spread the word! Please share The 3-Minute Coach with your mailing list, friends and associates -- anyone interested in living their life to its fullest potential. All I ask is that you observe the copyright guidelines listed below.

Copyright (c) 2010 - Present , all rights reserved. The 3-Minute Coach is a publication of TouchPoint Coaching. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter provided that The 3-Minute Coach is kept intact, and this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author are attached. If you are interested in using any article written by me (all those without attribution to others) on your website or in your newsletter, please use the resource box below.

RESOURCE BOX:
Copy and paste the following into your html file. The website code will render correctly on your browser.

(c) Copyright - Louise Morganti Kaelin, All rights reserved worldwide.
Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

 <a href="http://www.touchpointcoaching.com">http://www.touchpointcoaching.com </a>