Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

November 5, 2008 Issue #69
10 Elements to Consider When Creating Your Personal Vision / Mission / Operating Principles

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Well, once again, I've extended the 'periodic' nature of my newsletter about as long as I can! It's been so long I can't even call it an 'annual' publication. However, even though you've not seen a newsletter in a while, I have been writing! I'm very happy to introduce my new blog, Touchpoints to Wholeness, but more about that later!

As always, the newsletter is available online at the link at the top of the email (Ezezine's archive.) or on my site, under Archives.

In peace, love and gratitude.
Louise

Food for Thought

"It's never too late to be who you might have been." --- George Eliot

Keep It Simple

Announcing My Blog!!

Check it out! www.touchpointcoaching.com/blog

I have recently created a blog entitled Touchpoints to Wholeness [Tips, Tools and Resources for being your Best Self!]. The blog is another choice on the navigation bar of my site (and not a totally new url). I am hoping that you have some time to check it out and try the options for subscribing (either by email or RSS). I want to make sure everything is working as intended. If you have a blog, be sure to fill out the name in your profile, as one plugin I am using can send people to your latest post. I would also appreciate any feedback on format, content, ease of use, and any other thing you can think of.

I’m very excited about this blog. As you know, my newsletters have become more and more periodic. This is mostly due to health reasons, but I’m feeling great now and looking forward to using this new vehicle to write on a more regular basis. I will still do occasional newsletters, but I feel that most of my writing in the future will be on the blog.

In addition, when I do create a newsletter, I will be removing the "Keep it Simple" section. I believe that the blog will help you "Keep it Simple" on your personal journey to wholeness. And on a much more regular basis to boot! You'll be able to be notified of updates to the blog either by email or RSS feed. Links to this will be found on the sidebar of the blog.

Looking forward to hearing your feedback on Touchpoints to Wholeness!

Feature Article

10 Elements to Consider When Creating Your Personal Vision / Mission / Operating Principles

Be specific about your personal vision.
This is your definition of an ideal world. The best way to start, is to fill in the blank on the following phrase: In my ideal world, everyone on the planet ____________. This should be your view from the highest level. Keep it expansive and idealistic. [Here's mine: In my ideal world, everyone on the planet lives life to their fullest potential and everything in their lives is their number one choice.]

Be clear about your personal mission.
Once you've identified your vision, you will soon realize it is not a 1-person job! The next step, then, is to define your personal role in making that vision a reality. Think in terms of: To help create my vision of [fill in from step #1], I _____________. This should reflect your personal passions and skillset. Keep it short, powerful and memorable and focused on HOW! [Here's mine: I help people live their best lives! My mission is to provide the guidance, tools and support that individuals need to connect and stay connected to their own inner wisdom, strength and power, allowing them to live life grounded in their values, and enabling them to turn all their dreams into reality. ]

Define what your operating principles will be.
The operating principles you choose to live by in order to more fully realize your mission and vision are the key steps for you to succeed in this endeavor. They are the standards of behavior you will hold yourself to in order to feel good about yourself, to feel "in" integrity. These are personal for everyone, but you can see mine here.

Make a distinction between having and being.
When you are creating your mission statement and operating principles, look at what you've written. Is it mostly about physical things you want in your life (house, car, etc)? Is it about successes you want to feel (money, title, job), etc. As a rule, you want to avoid 'havings'. It's not that these are bad in themselves, it's just that they represent your current 'wish list' and do not truly reflect who YOU are.

Make a distinction between doing and being.
Again, look at what you've written. Is it mostly about things you want to do or accomplish (climb Mount Everest, adopt a child, etc.). Again, these are good things, but the actual doing should come out of who you are -- your being! The doings are also temporary in nature. Once you've 'done' those things, what new things will you want to 'do'.

Make it reflect the quintessential you!
When you have completed the 3 elements, you should feel good about you! Not because you've done something important, but because this document reflects who you are at your core. When you can see the quintessential you, you won't be surprised to read it 30 years later and find that it still defines you! It's been 25 plus years since I've written mine and I believe I've changed one word in all that time. If it resonates with you each and every time you read it, you know you've captured the essence of who you are.

Have it touch as many areas of yourself as seems appropriate.
You especially want to make sure that you have covered the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual realms of your life. We need to feel good about all four of these areas in order to feel integrated. When we feel integrated, we have a better chance to fulfill our mission and to live our best life, for that matter.

Don't be embarrassed about your 'high falutin' vision/mission/principles.
For many people, it's not 'cool' to think about such serious issues as your purpose in life. While you can share this information with whomever you like, remember that it is a personal, private exercise. It's about creating the compass by which you live your life. When these guidelines are clearly identified, it's a lot easier to figure out if you've gone off-course, or in you're right on target. And if you have left the road, knowing who you want to be will make it easier and faster to get back on track.

Make it as long or as short as you need.
There is no magic formula for creating your operating principles. There's not even a magic format. Just write down what standards you wish to hold yourself to in language and style that brings it home to YOU. This is a contract between you and you, so you are the only one who needs to understand the significance of the words on the paper. You may only need one word to bring home the truth to yourself. I'm a little wordier, but one thing I love about mine is that I can have the whole thing.. or just read the 10 principles, without the explanation. Through the years, I've come to know exactly what I mean by each of those shortened versions.

Be proud of yourself for this major life achievement.
You deserve to be proud. Creating an affirming life document such as this is a signal to the Universe that you are serious about being your best self. When you live by it, it's even more powerful and turns a campfire into a bonfire. Help steer your own course and be the person you want to be. You deserve all the joy, happiness and pride preparing such a document can bring.

Related Quotes

"We go where our vision is." -- Joseph Murphy

"A vision without action is called a daydream" -- Jim Sorenson

"Vision - It reaches beyond the thing that is, into the conception of what can be. Imagination gives you the picture. Vision gives you the impulse to make the picture your own. " -- Robert Collierr

"We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities, talents, direction, missions, callings. " -- Abraham Maslow

"Learn from the earliest days to insure your principles against the perils of ridicule; you can no more exercise your reason if you live in the constant dread of laughter, than you can enjoy your life if you are in the constant terror of death. " -- Sydney Smith

"Adversity is the trial of principle. Without it a man hardly knows whether he is honest or not. " -- Henry Fielding

"I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't." -- Mark Twain

"Where principle is involved, be deaf to expediency." -- James Webb

The Welcome Mat Guest Column:

My 7 Keys To Finding Mr. Right
by Marna Goldstein Thall

Now that the wedding is over, life is back to normal and I'm inspired to share with you some thoughts on relationships.

I know I typically talk about living thin-but today for some strange reason, I'm particularly interested in talking about relationships.

I've been in a bunch of relationships, but why does this one work over all the others I've been in?

Are you trying to figure out some things in your relationship?

Here are a few things I have learned in my long journey to finding my husband:

1. Do you have similar values - in your core, are your values similar?

2. I truly believe that love is not enough. I've been in love before but those relationships would have struggled because the only thing we had was love. Do you have similar friends, families that love and support you, a community, similar religion...I believe other connections need to be in place to keep you tied together besides your love.

3. Do you trust your partner 100%? I've been cheated on, I've been lied to, I've been kept in the dark...and they all suck! Does your partner reveal everything to you? Do you feel that you could trust your significant other with anything and everything?

4. Do you feel your best when you're with your significant other? Okay, I'm not saying we don't get irritated with one another, because we most certainly do, but I feel like the sexiest, happiest, cutest thing around. When you're together, do you mostly feel happy, joyful, and supported to be your best self?

5. Does your partner want to be with you? I know this sounds silly, but I've been with people who have enjoyed being with me, but my husband LOVES being with me. He loves our partnership, couldn't wait to get married, lives and breathes for my happiness (as I his), and it's not unhealthy in nature...it's just that we're each other's top priority-no questions asked. You want a partner that you don't have to guess with; that you just know loves you to pieces! You deserve it.

6. You can move through fights. I'm a tough cookie who's quite stubborn and you may be too. I have found that the difference between my current relationship vs. others, is that we can move through fights easily. We get angry (well me mostly), we talk through it and pow -it's done. If you can't move through fights and find that it takes days to recover or the silent treatment takes hold for days, etc...it should be easier!

7. Which leads me to the seventh and final major learning- A relationship should be pretty darn easy. Most relationships I've been in have been pretty tough, and when you're with the right person, it's pretty darn easy. It's not to say you don't have your moments, but mostly, things come easy.
-----------------------------

For 14 years, Marna Goldstein Thall has developed and refined a life-changing program exclusively for individuals seeking permanent strategies for a healthy weight. Based on a combination of proven science and what works in the real world, this innovative lifestyle offers an integrated curriculum of practical, livable techniques that help people take charge of their bodies and their health and maintain it for a lifetime.

For more information about Thin From Within and Marna’s programs and offerings, visit http://thinwithin.com/store

Working Towards Wholeness: Action Step

[For me, wholeness represents being my best self living my best life. I believe there are 13 keys to living in wholeness (5 Steps, 8 Elements). Each newsletter, I will look at one action step you can take so that you may get one step closer to wholeness]

WHOLENESS KEY: Focus on the Elements.
ELEMENT: Positive Self Regard.
ACTION STEP: Be proud of who you are!

This issue's action step is an exercise designed to help you develop the positive self regard that is critical to the success of achieving wholeness. Without it, everything you do falls on fallow ground, because you don't believe you derseve the abundance you are trying to create.

This is probably one of the most effective -- and simplest! -- exercises I've come up with in a while. It's amazing to see what comes up when doing this exercise.

Take a clean piece of paper. Divide it into two columns.

Take a deep breath, slowly filling your lungs. Hold it as long as you can. When you exhale, let the exhale be loud. When I do this with my clients, I ask them to let me hear that exhalation over the phone. And do that slowly too!

In Column 1, write the following statement: "I am [insert name] and I'm proud of it." Use your whole name, your first and last, your nickname or just your first name. It has to be the name that most reflects who you are. For me, that would be I am Louise Morganti Kaelin and I'm proud of it". It could have been "I'm Louise Kaelin, I'm Louise, or even I'm Weezie (but careful there.. only my sister-in-law is allowed to call me that!), but Louise Morganti Kaelin is the name that resonates most with me at this point in my life.

Across from that, in Column 2, write your first thought or feeling in making that statement. Be honest with yourself, and as specific as you can get. Even if it starts out a little vague, as discomfort or happiness, the next time see if it can get a little more specific. The more specific you can get, the better chance you can move through it.

Leave a space.

Repeat steps 2 through 4. Do this as many times as it takes for you to truly be proud of who you are. When you feel like shouting it out to the world, you can call this exercise finished -- for now, anyway. It's an exercise that bears repeating frequently, as we have a habit of 'keeping ourselves in check'. Our fear that we're getting too big for our britches often makes this pride seem sinful or vain. It's not. It's being honest about yourself. It has nothing to do with other people.

Reflect on the exercise. Take a new piece of paper and write down your thoughts, feelings and any awarenesses you might have had.

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-484-660-3143
Email:

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Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

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