Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

August 6, 2007, Issue #67
Top 10 Reasons to Simplify Your Life

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Greetings all! Thanks so much to those of you who have been forwarding The 3 Minute Coach. I really appreciate your taking the time to do so (and hope you'll keep it up!)

As always, the newsletter is available online at the link at the top of the email (Ezezine's archive.) or on my site, under Archives.

In peace, love and gratitude.
Louise

Food for Thought

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still." --- Chinese Proverb

Keep It Simple

Best Self First, BUT allow Best Life

Last issues's Keep it Simple revolved around the need to focus first on our best self and to allow our best life to be an outcome of that. What I've become aware of in the last few weeks is that there are some of us who are so focused on BEING our best selves that we can't allow ourselves to have our best lives!

Don't misunderstand me. I still believe that being our best self is core to the process. It's who we are, how we define ourselves, the standards we hold ourselves to, in fact, it's "us". However, living our best life is a critical goal for our self development. Having our best lives means to live with an attitude of abundance, the understanding that we deserve the best God and the Universe has to offer: the people, places, and things that create the ideal environment for our best self. Our best life nurtures our best self, allowing us to fulfill our life purpose and to enjoy life to the utmost.

They are both part of the divine pattern. Having one without the other doesn't really make sense. So be proud of being (and continually becoming) your best self AND be grateful for being blessed with your best life, which is just an outward manifestation of your inner peace and connectedness!

Note: Last issue I recommended that you make a list of what your best self looks like. Katherine Bates, one of the 3MC readers, sent me some feedback on this process. She found that using the phrase "I know I'm being my best self when _________" really helped clarify the qualities she wants to model and the actions which keep her in integrity with her best self. If you had a problem with the exercise, try starting every sentence with that phrase and see if it becomes easier. Thanks Katherine!

Feature Article

Top 10 Reasons to Simplify Your Life

Simplifying your life is one of the easiest (pun intended!) strategies for creating major change in your life. Most of us understand the value of simplification, yet at times we lose focus or motivation. I hope this list of 10 reasons to simplify your life will help get you back on track!

Reduces stress.
Streamlining and simplification cut down on the overwhelm that comes from too many choices, too many obligations, and too little time.

Allows more time for what's really important to you.
So often we fill our lives with things we feel we need to do, but which are in fact "shoulds". Since shoulds usually come from the expectations of others, very few of these things make us happy. When you create time and space through simplification, you allow yourself time for what YOU want to do! (Not to mention the fact that eliminating shoulds is a great place to start simplifying!)

Brings you to your center on a regular and consistent basis.
When we aren't wasting our energy on activities that don't resonate with us, we allow ourselves the time and space to visit our center, our place of wisdom, the place we connect to God, regularly and consistently. Imagine living from this space on an ongoing basis!

Increases your attractiveness.
With so much media attention on "The Secret" and the law of attraction, it's important to note that the simpler your life is, the more your unique light can shine. The brighter your flame, the closer what you attract is to what you want.

Helps you live "in" the present.
When your life is filled only with what is important to you, it is easier to stay present in every moment. It's my firm belief that living in the present (having completed the past and planned for the future) is the key to acheiving wholeness.

Produces a sense of graceful, elegant living.
Have you every picked up a copy of House Beautiful or Architectural Digest and seen a room overflowing with stuff? Perhaps once in a great while, but most homes depicted in these magazines are spacious, neat and often sparsely decorated. When your living environment makes you feel like you have room to spread your wings, you tend to soar through life!

Makes it easier to move from "just enough" to "having extra".
Abundance is a state of mind, and it's interesting to me that the more we have, the more we feel we need. When we streamline our lives, it becomes easier to put this into perspective. Suddenly, we can see that what was barely enough in fact gives us a reserve. When we know we have "extra", it's easier to feel secure, generous and oriented towards growth.

Creates space for new to come in.
I'm sure that somewhere along the way you've heard the advice "If you want new (xxx), then clean out your closet!". Whether it's clients, friends or money, the idea is the same. Letting go of the old, things you no longer love or use, makes room in your life. This room can be filled by anything, not necessarily what you let go of. The important thing is to set intention while you are discarding the old: "As I let go of this paisley shirt, I am allowing room for more clients in my life!".

Energizes your life.
The simpler your life is, the fewer obstacles you encounter in day-to-day living, the more refreshed and energized you feel. As you start the process of streamlining, pay attention to your energy level. Notice how you feel like doing more, how change begets change, and how joyous life feels! By the way, Feng Shui practitioners often suggest moving 27 things to get the energy in your home moving. And notice I said moving, not re-moving! If you are having trouble getting started eliminating the excess in your life, moving 27 items (even if just swapping them around) is a perfect exercise to get the energy moving!

Is ultimately maintenance free.
As you go through the process of simplifying your life, create a goal of being ultimately maintenance-free. With that as an end goal, I believe you will find it easier to simplify and not just change things around. For example, it takes less time to dust the fewer the items you need to pick up to dust under. Even letting go of a client who zaps your energy can leave you more time and vitality to tackle more of your 'ideal' clients. Don't let the fear of losing what you have stop you from obtaining what you want!

Related Quotes

"Simplicity is the peak of civilization. " -- Jesse Sampter

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." -- Henry David Thoreau

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. " -- Hans Hoffman

"The art of art, the glory of expression and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. " -- Walt Whitman

"Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify." -- Henry David Thoreau

"All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." -- Sir Winston Churchill

"It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple" -- Rabindranath Tagore

The Welcome Mat Guest Column:

The Ten Rules for Being Human
by Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.

From If Life is a Game, These are the RulesWritten in 1974 and a New York Times #1 Best Selling Book.

Rule #1: You will receive a body.
You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration of your life on Earth.

Rule #2: You will be presented with lessons.
You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called “life.” Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.

Rule #3: There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of experimentation, a series of trials, errors, and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that work.

Rule #4: A lesson is repeated until learned.
Lessons will be repeated to you in various forms until you have learned them. When you have learned them, you can then go on to the next lesson.

Rule #5: Learning does not end.
There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

Rule #6: "There" is no better than "here".
When your "there" has become a "here," you will simply obtain a "there" that will look better to you than your present "here."

Rule #7: Others are only mirrors of you.
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

Rule #8: What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you.

Rule #9: Your answers lie inside you.
All you need do is look, listen, and trust.

Rule #10: You will forget all this at birth!
You can remember if you want by unraveling the double helix of inner knowing.

If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules is essential reading if you are interested in behaviour, relationships, communications, and human personality. ‘If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules’ is also commonly referenced book in the life-coaching industry. If you are interested in making the most of your life, and helping others do the same… Buy If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules Now.

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Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott is an International Author, Motivational Speaker, Management Consultant and Original Coach Trainer since 1974. She is the Founder and Chair of The Motivation Management Service Institute Inc. To know about Dr. Cherie, please visit her website at www.DrCherie.com. You can access her Online Virtual Training programs by visiting www.mmsvt.com

Working Towards Wholeness: Action Step

[For me, wholeness represents being my best self living my best life. I believe there are 13 keys to living in wholeness (5 Steps, 8 Elements). Each newsletter, I will look at one action step you can take so that you may get one step closer to wholeness]

WHOLENESS KEY: Focus on the Elements.
ELEMENT: Strong Sense of Self.
ACTION STEP: Standards and Boundaries.

This issue's action step is an exercise designed to help you get clear about the standards and boundaries you hold dear. They are a direct reflection of your core values and help define who you are. In fact, when we talk about being "in" integrity, we are talking about the fact that our actions match our words which match our beliefs. Our standards and boundaries are the actions that must match our words in order for us to be at peace with ourselves.

Standards and boundaries are not exactly identical. Standards are the behaviors we hold ourselves to while boundaries are the behaviors we hold others to in our presence. The following exercise will not only help you get clear about your standards and boundaries, but will also point towards your core values.

Take a clean piece of paper. I find it a bit easier to make this page landscape to give enough room for writing.
1. Draw one line about 1" from the left edge (I often use the margin that's already on lined paper). Divide the remaining space into 3 even columns, drawing another line down the center of that space.
2. On the top of Column 1, write "VALUE". On the top of Column 2, write "STANDARD". On the top of Column 3, write "BOUNDARY". On the top of Column 4, write "ACTION WHEN BOUNDARY NOT MET".

Begin by reflecting on the actions of others that upset you.
1. If you are out of integrity somewhere, you may actually have lots of examples of the same type of behavior. For illustration purposes, let's use the fact that people keep breaking their commitments to meet you at the last minute. While you say "Fine!", it really upsets you.
Start with Column 2, "STANDARD".
1. Define the behavior that you hold (or want to hold) yourself to around this issue, and write it down as a complete sentence.
2. Our example: I only commit to things I want to do and I keep the commitments I make.

Move to Column 3, "BOUNDARY".
1. Define the behavior that you hold (or want to hold) others to around this issue, and write it down as a complete sentence.
2. Our example: I don't allow others to blow me off repeatedly.

Move to Column 4, "ACTION WHEN BOUNDARY NOT MET".
1. Define the action you take (or want to take) when others violate the boundary you have established around this issue, and write it down as a complete sentence.
2. Our example: I tell people immediately that I'm disappointed and ask them to only call for last-minute get-togethers from this point on.
3. Note: This action is really important as you define who you are and how you expect to treat and be treated by others. The action column is also a great place for stretch goals and measuring success. For example, say that you are tired of people just "not showing". You define your standard and your boundary on this. Then, for action, you might start with "Call them within 48 hours to find out what happened and express my disappointment." Once you've done that a few times, change it to 24 hours, then 12, then 6, then 3, then immediately. Can you feel how much stronger that makes you feel?

Move to Column 1, "AREA/VALUE".
1. Reflect on what you've written in this row: the standard, behavior and action when the boundary is not met.
2. Define the value that represents and write that in column 1.
3. Our example: Respect
Reflect on the exercise. Take a new piece of paper and write down your thoughts, feelings and any awarenesses you might have had.

Use as many sheets as you need. But don't be surprised if the list isn't all that long. We tend to created standards and boundaries for only our top 3 to 5 core values. In fact, one of the interesting things you'll probably note is that most of the things that really upset you keep going back to just a few values.

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-484-660-3143
Email:

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Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

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