Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

January 20, 2003, Issue #48
Strategies for Stress-Free Life

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Hope you enjoy this issue. Please send feedback to me at louise@touchpointcoaching.com

In joy, peace and gratitude,

Louise

Food for Thought

"Forgiveness is a perfectly selfish act. It sets you free from the past". --- Brian Tracy

Keep It Simple

Up, Up and Away

Very often, when we want to move forward, to think new thoughts or look at something from a different perspective there is a lot of 'stuff' that gets in our way. Feelings and thoughts that have not been expressed, or that get us going, pushing some 'hot' button keep interfering with our intention. The following exercise, which helps us to let those pieces go is from "A New Attitude" by Marion Thomas.

Directions: Before you can adopt a more positive outlook, you must make room for positive input. Your circuits can become overloaded with negativity, and they must be cleared for incoming messages of gratitude, optimism and encouragement. The following visualization exercise, recommended by Philip H. Friedman, is a must if you often feel victimized or negative.

Before starting this exercise, find a comfortable place with no interruptions. Sit in a comfortable chair and take a few minutes just to relax.

Now close your eyes, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Relax each muscle group beginning with your toes and slowly move up to your face. When you feel very relaxed, especially all your face muscles, visualize a hot-air balloon that is attached not to the customary basket but to a large garbage can. The balloon is tethered to the ground for the moment. Imagine yourself walking over to the garbage can, lifting the lid off and dumping all your emotional garbage into it. Toss in your negative attitudes, injustices and resentments. Also, throw away your self-deprecating statements, your helpless and hopeless feelings. Tear off your victim label and remove those blinders and trash them, too.

Now put the lid on tight, untether the balloon and watch it float far away, taking all your victim thoughts, negative feelings and behaviors with it. Watch it until it is completely gone. Now take a deep breath, let it out slowly and repeat to yourself, "They are GONE."

To find out more about, see , "A New Attitude"

Feature Article

Top 10 Strategies for Stress-Free Living

Identify and live by your values.
When we know what our values are, and our goals and actions are in harmony with our values, we are seldom stressed or in conflict about what we are doing.
Complete the Past
Sometimes we hang on to voices or perceived injustices from the past, long after the person or situation is dead and gone. By bringing closure to these events, we are free to move forward.
Plan for the Future.
It is important to know where we want to go and to have a rough idea of how we plan to get there. While it is important to give up final control to God or the Universe, we need a sense of focus and direction to our lives. Planning for the future gives us that sense of direction.
Live in the Present.
This is key. Once we have completed the past and planned for the future, we need to stay focused in the here and now. There is very little that we cannot handle in the moment. (A clue: if you are feeling guilt, you are in the past. If you are feeling fear, you are in the future. The absence of those feelings generally means you are planted firmly in the present!).
Understand that if you can dream it, then you can achieve it.
If we are -- truly -- not capable of something, then it is practically impossible for us to dream about it. Knowledge of what we are capable of is in each and every cell of our being. So no matter how wild and far-fetched your dream appears, the very existence of the dream means that you can achieve it if you are willing to commit to it.
Allow others to live their own lives.
Allowing others to be themselves and to live their own lives is the first step in being able to be yourself and living your own life. If you have any "shoulds" or expectations of others, let them go. Shoulds kill relationships faster than any weapon I know of and fill our lives with unnecessary stress.
Recognize God in everyone.
Everyone (literally, everyone!) is a reflection of God. Sometimes we have to dig a little deep to see it as our perceptions, expectations and fears cloud our vision. But when we can recognize how God is mirrored in each person, our lives are calmer and freer!
Create reserves where you need them.
Stress is often created through lack, either right now or right around the corner. Create reserves of time, space, money, love, vitality and meaningful action, starting where you feel most stressed.
Focus on being and not doing or having.
When we are focused on who we are, what kind of person we are, we tend to be on a journey of spiritual evolution, which in itself tends to have less stress (or the stress is less stressful!). When we are focused on doing or having, we are not focused on our higher selves, but only on certain dimensions of who we are (and usually on what we think that means). Be a being, not a doing!
Choose to be the best you possible.
Making a choice to be our best selves, to live life to our fullest potential, typically allows us to transcend our lives and reduces much stress because we understand that the source of stress is temporary. Also, don't forget that today, you are the best you've ever been! Revel in that fact.

Related Quotes

"Throw out an alarming alarm clock. If the ring is loud and strident, you're waking up to instant stress. You shouldn't be bullied out of bed, just reminded that it's time to start your day." -- Sharon Gold

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." - Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

"Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"One day at a time- this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering." -- Ida Scott Taylor

"Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty, it is it's own reward. Everything else is in God's hands." - Mahatma Gandhi

This-N-That

Installing Love
[Author Unknown]

Thanks to Penny Zahler for sending me this great piece. It's a conversation between a Customer and Tech Support. It made me chuckle, but there's a lot of sage advice here too. I hope you enjoy it.

Tech Support: Yes Ma'am... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart ma'am?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past/Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past/Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of it's own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry ma'am. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey!!! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: I promise to do just that. By the way, what's your name?

Tech Support: Just call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as the Great Physician, or, just "I AM." Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy; but, the manufacturer (ME) suggests a daily maintenance schedule for maximum Love efficiency.

Principles of Attraction

Attraction is the ability to consistently draw the best things in life towards you: opportunities, strong finances, rewarding relationships, whatever you define as 'the best things'. Additionally, it means to draw them forth effortlessly, without striving, scuffling or struggling.

Thomas J. Leonard has developed 28 Principles of Attraction in his book "The Portable Coach". (Visit Amazon.Com) .

Each newsletter I will take one principle and highlight its key points. For a pdf version of all 28 principles, email attraction04@touchpointcoaching.com .

I have created a page out on the website that takes all of the Principles, with the clarification and key points I have written for each of them. It will always be updated up til the last newsletter! That is, Principles 1-12 are there now, Principles 1-16 are there now. You can see it here: Atraction Plus!

Principle #17: ENDORSE YOUR WORST WEAKNESSES
When you can accept and honor the worst part of yourself, you are more accepting of others.

CLARIFICATION

This principle of attraction seems a little off at first glance. The idea is to find a way to love and honor - not just accept - your worst weaknesses and to forget trying to improve on them.

Instead of trying to fix your worst weakness, look to understand what it points to, what it tells you about you. When you see behind the curtain (which is much easier to do if you've decided to give shame a rest), you'll know what the next level of your life should include.

For example, if you feel that your worst weakness is that you are a wimp, it may just be that you are a supersensitive person, which is a real gift. If you feel your worst weakness is that you are insensitive, perhaps you are associating with the wrong people and it's time to freshen up the Rolodex.

KEY POINTS

Weakness vs Fault. A weakness is a lack of something or a feebleness, while a fault is a defect. Weaknesses can be strengthened; flaws must be fixed.
Surrender vs Compensate. When you surrender to a weakness, you accept it and can go on from there to discover what is extraordinary about it. To compensate means to make up for the weakness which is a limiting approach.
Start to look at weaknesses as really great signposts. They can tell you where to go and/or what to focus on next. Use your weaknesses to get rid of role and goal confusion.
Acceptance heals, and that's good. But to actually embrace your weaknesses is to embrace the truth, and doing that will set you free. Big difference. Get it working for you.
You'll know you're making progress with this principle when you see the link between your worst weakness and your strength. It's very exciting to grasp the connection.

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Track your progress towards becoming a Class Act.
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Identify areas where you already have reserves and find new ones.
EXERCISE: RELEASE THE PAST
PDF file with directions for letting go.
EXERCISE: WHEEL OF LIFE
PDF Exercise for gaining clarity on goals
EXERCISE: QUILTING BE
PDF Exercise to step outside the box and get a fresh perspective on a situation.

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-617-984-2868 or 1-866-COACH-99 (toll-free inside USA)
Email: louise@touchpointcoaching.com
Web: http://touchpointcoaching.com

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