Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

August 15, 2002, Issue #42
WYSIWYG: What You See...

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Hope you enjoy this issue's focus on getting a clear picture of what you want. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from you.!

In joy, peace and gratitude,

Louise

Food for Thought

"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads." --- Albert Camus

Keep It Simple

Know Your Non-Negotiables

In the process of coaching, we work on the gap between where we are and where we want to be. There are a number of ways I work with clients in defining where they want to be and sometimes it's just a simple list. For example, if you wanted to move out of your current home, I would ask for everything that you want in the new environment. I would ask you to be as specific as possible, listing qualities (what it would feel like to live there) as well as precise details. It's usually best to just allow a "brain dump" of all these items. Very often in this process, all these different pieces are rolling around in your head and this process helps you to focus your energies. The last step of the process, however, is always to go through your list and highlight the non-negotiable items. These are the items that, no matter what, you won't back down on. For most of us, about 10 to 20 percent of the items should be non-negotiable ones.

Knowing which ones are and which ones aren't negotiable saves us a lot of trouble when our dream materializes. For example, if you have created a list for an ideal mate, you may have items like hair color, height, other physical characteristic, temperament, personal qualities, strengths, skills, you name it. The more vivid the detail, the better chance you have of creating that reality as there is more energy behind it and the Universe responds to energy. However, without knowing which items on your list are non-negotiable, it is possible to overlook your dream mate when he or she shows up. But if you know that treating you with respect is a non-negotiable, you will be able to see those qualities more clearly and other, negotiable, qualities lose their significance and don't stand in the way of your happiness.

Another point about these lists. When we moved into our current home, I believe we got 99% of the items on our list. We had been very specific about certain items, and we got them. Because we were living in a city apartment, we had no 'outside', not even a fire escape. This was important to us in the new place. Since we also knew we didn't really want to take on a large chore of maintaining a yard, we identified this outside place on our list as a 'deck'. Because we had no experience with an outside area, it was hard to be more specific than that. And that is just what we got: a deck, but it's small and doesn't give us quite the feeling of being outside that we were looking for. If I was to do that list today, I would have very definite requirements of our outside space. So, no matter how small it appears to be, include as much detail in your list as possible!

Feature Article

WYSIWYG: What You See...

Back in the 'early' days of personal computers, you had to insert code into your text to make it print the way you wanted it to look. An incredible breakthrough was called "WYSIWYG: What You See Is What You Get". For the first time, you could look on your pc screen and see a representation of what your finished printed output would look like. It occurred to me that the process of visualization is just like that. What you see in your mind's eye is what your 'output' can look like!

For the most part, we tend to use visualization to focus on the end product. What will our ideal home, partner, job, life, vacation, etc. be like? The more detailed and vivid we are able to see our ideal, the better chance we have of creating it. This is a very powerful tool in creating our own realities. All we need to do is make a movie, if you will, of what we want in our life, play it often enough in our mind's eye, and be willing to let go of the beliefs we have that block us from having that movie materialize in our life. (In my experience, the blocks don't show up until we start playing the movie, so you get a sense of just how important it is to visualize what you want to create.)

Recently, however, I was reading a book on strength training. I wasn't surprised to find instructions on visualization as it's common knowledge that part of serious athletic training is for the athlete to 'see' themselves performing the feat. In fact, I have heard a story of an athlete (can't remember the name however!) who was asked to describe what it felt like to run a particular race that they had won. The athlete's response was that they had run it so many times in their head, they couldn't figure out which was the 'real' one. How beautiful is that?

What did strike me, however, was that three reasons for visualization were identified:

Motivation. What we've been talking about; visualizing the end result, the changes you're working to achieve.
"I walk down the hall at work towards my office. People stop and smile when they see me coming and I am happy to see them. I stop outside the door of my office and see that sign that reads "Vice President". I take a moment and smile. I know that my skills and abilities are perfect for this role and I welcome the responsibilities and opportunities to make the best use of my skills."
Preparation. Prepare for the specific task in front of you to make it easier to do. These are usually the 'small steps' or daily tasks that contribute to successful creation of your goal.
"I change into walking shoes, and I drink a glass of water. At the park, I move slowly at first, then gradually speed up. I walk briskly along the path, swinging my arms. Afterward, my body feels energized and warm."
Troubleshooting. Visualize yourself managing a difficult situation, something that might get in the way of you arriving at your goal.
"I am doing very well on my diet. I always make good food choices. When my sister-in-law serves me a slice of chocolate layer cake. I take one bite, and tell her how delicious it is. Then I put my fork down and talk to my niece. My sister-in-law urges everyone to have seconds. I smile and tell her I'm still enjoying my firsts.".

The following five steps are from Shakti Gawain's wonderful book on "Creative Visualization. Visit Amazon.Com

1. Set your goal. Decide on what you want, on any level. At first, choose goals that are fairly easy for you to believe in.

2. Create a clear idea or picture. Think of it in the present tense as already existing the way you want it to be. Picture yourself with the situation as you desire it, now. Include as many details as you can.

3. Focus on it often. Bring your mental picture to mind often, both in quiet meditation periods and also casually thought the day when you happen to think of it. Focus on it clearly, yet in a light, gentle way.

4. Give it positive energy. As you focus on your goal, think about it in a positive, encouraging way. Make strong positive statements to yourself: that it exists, that it has come or is now coming to you. See yourself receiving or achieving it. Try to temporarily suspend any doubts.

5. Once you achieve your goal, acknowledge it. Give yourself some appreciation and recognize that you now have positive experience of it working!

Related Quotes

"I visualize things in my mind before I have to do them. It is like having a mental workshop." -- Jack Youngblood

"The entrepreneur is essentially a visualizer and an actualizer. He can visualize something, and when visualizes it he sees exactly how to make it happen." -- Robert L Schwartz

"To accomplish great things we must first dream, then visualize, then plan... believe... act!" -- Alfred A. Montapert

"Before you begin a thing, remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. If you could see them clearly, naturally you could do a great deal to get rid of them but you can't. You can only see one thing clearly and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin." - Kathleen Norris

"Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture...Do not build up obstacles in your imagination." - Norman Vincent Peale

Principles of Attraction

Attraction is the ability to consistently draw the best things in life towards you: opportunities, strong finances, rewarding relationships, whatever you define as 'the best things'. Additionally, it means to draw them forth effortlessly, without striving, scuffling or struggling.

Thomas J. Leonard has developed 28 Principles of Attraction in his book "The Portable Coach". (Visit Amazon.Com) .

Each newsletter I will take one principle and highlight its key points. For a pdf version of all 28 principles, email attraction04@touchpointcoaching.com .

Principle #12: ELIMINATE DELAY
Time is expensive and using too much is very unattractive.

CLARIFICATION

30 years ago, Federal Express proved a major point to business worldwide. Overnight delivery is worth a premium! It helps people get things done more quickly, more efficiently, more competitively. Because time really IS worth money. While there may be times when it feels like we've over-learned this lesson, it still is a valuable one. Delay is unattractive, both personally and professionally. It's also something you can do something about on a practical basis, and right away!

KEY POINTS

Become a person who responds immediately to others' requests. It builds trust and confidence. People are reassured by immediate response, even if you cannot perform the needed action immediately. Acknowledge others as soon as humanly possible.
Refuse to wait for things; become demanding. Don't allow the delay of others to cut down YOUR response time or slow up your creative process.
Learn quickly. Integrate changes immediately and respond accordingly. This is a major factor in success. Apply the 'eliminate delay' concept to your thinking. In other words, learn the lesson and move on.
Reduce "personal processing time" by eliminating fear-based delays. Having a reserve is one of the best ways to reduce fear. Reserves work because they reduce the consequences - perceived or actual - of threat or risk, and threat or risk produce fear. The biggest result of fear is usually delay. See the connection?
Automate your responses so you don't have to be there. The idea here is to think about why people are contacting you and give them the answers they are looking for immediately. It's an obvious solution today with autoresponders, specialized phone numbers and mailboxes. But you can apply this to other areas of your life as well. For example, leaving the cell phone on while I'm out of the house makes it easier for my husband to contact me if necessary.

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Here's what's available to you:

ONE-PAGE SUMMARY PDF of ATTRACTION PRINCIPLES
Thomas Leonard's 28 Principles of Attraction
ONE-PAGE SUMMARY PDF of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
ONE-PAGE SUMMARY PDF of 21 LEADER'S QUALITIES
21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John Maxwell
100-POINT CLASS ACT ASSESSMENT
Track your progress towards becoming a Class Act.
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Identify areas where you already have reserves and find new ones.
EXERCISE: RELEASE THE PAST
PDF file with directions for letting go.
EXERCISE: WHEEL OF LIFE
PDF Exercise for gaining clarity on goals
EXERCISE: QUILTING BE
PDF Exercise to step outside the box and get a fresh perspective on a situation.

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-617-984-2868
Email: louise@touchpointcoaching.com
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