Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

July 29, 2002, Issue #41
6 Signals You're Living In The Moment

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Hope you've been enjoying the past few weeks in whatever season you're in the middle of! We're in summer and actually enjoying some humidity-free days.

Again, thanks to the many readers who've ordered my new booklet. If you haven't had a chance to check it out yet, you can learn more about my new ebook "Blueprint for Success: 101 Ways to Reclaim Your Vital Energy and Get the Results You Want", which is available for immediate download at an introductory rate of $5.95 at Blueprint for Success .

In joy, peace and gratitude,

Louise

Food for Thought

"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known." --- Garrison Keillor

Keep It Simple

The Bottom Line on Simplicity

While packing for a recent vacation, I discovered something about myself, and about the concept of simplicity. For the majority of my life, I have been famous (notorious?) for over-packing. I feel that I have made tremendous strides in this area over the past few years as I have really focused on simplifying my life. As I packed for this most recent trip, however, I found that I reached a point where choice become more important than simplicity.

My focus on 'keeping it simple' was to facilitate the journey, keeping what I packed down to a minimum to make it easier for the 'travel' portion of our trip through multiple airports. I really believe I did an excellent job of that, but I definitely know when I started stressing about the packing. That was when I realized that I had reached my 'maximum' simplicity level, at least for that trip. It became much more important for me to have choices when I got to our destination.

This made me think about simplicity in other areas of my life. I once had a friend who had the simplest lifestyle of anyone I have ever known. I started remembering how uncomfortable I felt in her home. Simple it was, but to the point of barrenness. There was no evidence of joy in her apartment: no pictures, no mementos, most of her drawers and closets were empty. Even today, it makes me sad to think of living in that space. Yet my friend was very happy there.

The whole point is that we all have our personal 'line in the sand'. Stepping over that line takes us from clean, healthy, room to grow to barren, empty and sad. Know where your line is and you'll know when it's as simple as it can get!

Feature Article

6 Signals You're Living in the Moment

There is much written in the personal growth literature (heck, just this newsletter!) about living in the moment. Keeping your eyes squarely on this moment may be one of the most positive things you can do for yourself. There are scores of articles on why to live in the moment, but I thought it would be helpful for you to recognize the 6 Signals that you're doing it successfully!

1. You feel fully present and alive.
It's an "all systems go" kind of feeling. You seem to know exactly what's going on in every cell of your body. Your senses are sharp and alert to everything going on around you.

2. There is a complete absence of fear or guilt.
When you feel guilt, you are focused on the past; when you feel fear, you are focused on the future. This moment, the one right here, you can handle this one.

3. What you do feel is a sense of calm and focus.
Even with "all systems go" as described above, you feel connected to your wisdom.

4. You can see the trees, but feel connected to the forest.
There is a big difference between living "for" the moment and living "in" the moment. Living "in" the moment implies there is a plan for the future. You know the direction in which you go and how what you're doing now (the trees) brings you towards that future (the forest).

5. You are conscious of each choice you make as you go through your day, and recognize that life is created through these 'little' choices, or non-choices, for that matter.
You experience joy with each choice you make.

6. There are no awkward relationships.
When you are fully present in the moment, the past slips off your shoulders. This is true even if you have not yet completely healed the past. When you are fully present in this moment, you allow the other person to be fully present in the moment, and you see them as they are now, not as they used to be. (This can often be the beginning of healing the past).

Allow yourself to be on the lookout for these signals, and congratulate yourself every time you notice yourself living in the moment!

Related Quotes

"Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day's work absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your widest ambition." - Sir William Osler

"Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present." -- Roger Babson

"One day at a time- this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering." -- Ida Scott Taylor.

"The only use of a knowledge of the past is to equip us for the present. The present contains all that there is. It is holy ground; for it is the past, and it is the future." - Alfred North Whitehead

"My past is my wisdom to use today. . . my future is my wisdom yet to experience. Be in the present because that is where life resides." - Gene Oliver

"I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." - Alan Watts

Principles of Attraction

Attraction is the ability to consistently draw the best things in life towards you: opportunities, strong finances, rewarding relationships, whatever you define as 'the best things'. Additionally, it means to draw them forth effortlessly, without striving, scuffling or struggling.

Thomas J. Leonard has developed 28 Principles of Attraction in his book "The Portable Coach". (Visit Amazon.Com) .

Each newsletter I will take one principle and highlight its key points. For a pdf version of all 28 principles, email attraction04@touchpointcoaching.com .

Principle #11: CREATE A VACUUM THAT PULLS YOU FORWARD
Being pulled forward is attractive; pushing forward is not.

CLARIFICATION

There are actually two ways to attract people, opportunities and other wonderful things to you. One is to become a magnet, and many of the attraction principles are built around the magnet principle. The other way is to create a vacuum or sorts. Both ways work well, and you can alternate between them depending on the situation.

It's also less obvious how to use the pulling power of a vacuum, which you can use wither to pull yourself forward or pull things to you.

KEY POINTS

Think about front-wheel drive cars. It's the same principle. It is much more efficient to be pulled forward by the front wheels than to be pushed by the rear wheels.
There is a difference in our goals when we are focused on pulling rather than pushing. For example, joy, happiness, fulfillment and community are goals that pull you forward, creating a more effortless style of achieving. Money, success, winning, meeting quotas and deadlines are goals that push you forward, which is more expensive emotionally.
I love this distinction: Superconductive vs Energetic. Superconductivity is the absence of resistance. Being energetic is what one does to overcome resistance. To become superconductive, focus on getting clear about needs and values, standards and boundaries, creating reserves and living in harmony with your personal beliefs. You can also put energy into adding value, over-responding and investing in things, but if you focus on being superconductive, you will be much more efficient at these things as well.
Stay focused on your vision. Don't stop having goals, just begin seeing them as stepping stones to your vision. For instance, if your vision is a peaceful, rewarding life, you may have goals around financial independence, career satisfaction, etc. Very often we can get stuck in the lesser goal, but focusing on the bigger vision for your life can pull you out of the mire and allow you, effortlessly, to move forward.
Put yourself around friends and colleagues who bring out your best. When you are surrounded by people who always perform at 'their' best, you naturally gravitate towards performing at 'your' best.

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EXERCISE: RELEASE THE PAST
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EXERCISE: QUILTING BE
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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
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