Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

June 29, 2002, Issue #40
Lessons Learned from Agatha Christie

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Thanks to the many readers who've ordered my new booklet. If you haven't had a chance to check it out yet, you can learn more about my new ebook "Blueprint for Success: 101 Ways to Reclaim Your Vital Energy and Get the Results You Want", which is available for immediate download at an introductory rate of $5.95 at Blueprint for Success .

Note to all my AOL subscribers. There was a glitch with the last newsletter that I have been assured by AOL has been fixed so that you should receive this one. If you'd like to get a copy of Issue #39, What Motivates You at Work, please send an email to latest_issue04@touchpointcoaching.com . That email address is latest_issue04@touchpointcoaching.com in case the link above doesn't work.

In joy, peace and gratitude,

Louise

Food for Thought

"Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes." --- Mahatma Gandhi

Keep It Simple

Look Past the Pain

Can you remember the last time something emotionally painful happened to you? Perhaps someone you care about decided it was time to move on? Or just needed to express their truth, which somehow involved something negative about you?

Our first response is typically to feel raw and vulnerable. Which shouldn't surprise us, since we just had our nice clean image of our self stripped away without warning. We feel like we've been attacked and our reaction usually follows a "withdraw and protect" mode. Trying to keep our sense of self in tact, we usually start by feeling sad and hurt, then move on to what's wrong with the other person. While the time spent in phase 1 will depend on our basic sense of self worth (the lower our self esteem, the longer we stay in phase 1), for most of us self-protection involves putting up defenses about the other person.

Unfortunately, while it is critically important that you feel everything you feel, neither of these reactions serve you long-term. Protecting ourselves from being hurt is, I believe, the number one cause of people being alone, and lonely. Therefore, allow yourself to feel both of these, but then move past both of these feeling to phase 3. Didn't know there was a Phase 3? Well, there it is. It's that place where you accept responsibility for EVERYTHING that happens to you, even the things that other people do to you. In that place, you get to ask yourself some questions. What did I learn from this? What did I need to learn from that person? Did I learn it? Is it time to move on? How can this experience make me better and stronger? Is it possible that I wanted to move on but was afraid to do so? What do I know now that I didn't know before? Does this move me closer to my long term goals? Or further away? What am I afraid of?

Looking past the pain allows us to put this experience into perspective. And for me, the goal is not to experience pain at all, but to learn from each painful (and joyful!) experience as soon as possible, incorporating that knowledge into my life. Life without pain is not life. It's a hollow shell of life where we are basically unhappy, wondering why we are not able to have what everyone else seems to have no trouble finding.

Another point: Once you've come out the other side of the questioning, you'll quickly see that, in most cases, there is no reason to stay upset with the other person. If someone is the impetus for us learning about ourselves, our natural response is to want to thank them. You may have to experience this first hand to believe it, but it's happened to me too many times not to accept this as truth.

Feature Article

Top 10 Lessons I Learned from Agatha Christie

Since we're coming up on the July 4th holiday weekend here in the States, I thought I'd keep it light. I've been a fan of Agatha Christie and her mysteries my whole life and I thought I'd share what I've learned from reading her books countless times.

There are lots of clues in life.
Some clues are red herrings.
Everyone loves to talk about themselves.
There are connections to get from just about everything.
Bad things can happen in the most beautiful surroundings.
Everyone has something they prefer to keep hidden.
It's in casual conversations that we reveal the most about ourselves.
People who tell you negative things about others should probably be the number one suspect.
Whenever possible, get everyone into a large room to unveil the murderer.
Life lessons are available no matter where we look!

Related Quotes

"All perception of truth is the detection of an analogy." -- Henry David Thoreau

"The best time to plan a book is while you're doing the dishes." -- Agatha Christie

"I don't think necessity is the mother of invention - invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness. To save oneself trouble." -- Agatha Christie

"I am Hercule Poirot and I know." -- Hercule Poirot in "Death in the Clouds".

Principles of Attraction

Attraction is the ability to consistently draw the best things in life towards you: opportunities, strong finances, rewarding relationships, whatever you define as 'the best things'. Additionally, it means to draw them forth effortlessly, without striving, scuffling or struggling.

Thomas J. Leonard has developed 28 Principles of Attraction in his book "The Portable Coach". (Visit Amazon.Com) .

Each newsletter I will take one principle and highlight its key points. For a pdf version of all 28 principles, email attraction04@touchpointcoaching.com .

Principle #10: DELIVER TWICE WHAT YOU PROMISE
When you consistently deliver more than was expected, new customers are drawn to you.

CLARIFICATION

When you mater the art of promising less yet delivering more, you'll fulfill much more of your own potential and greatly increase how people value you. This is based on the principle that if you don't crowd yourself with promises (which generally create stress), you're free to reach a lot deeper into your resources for performance. This principle can be applied to ALL your relationships, business and personal.

KEY POINTS

It is possible to deliver twice what you promised without spending twice the time. Innovate!
Being satisfied has now become the norm. The next level, which is now required if you want to be attractive, is to exceed expectations.
Deliver for the pleasure of it, not because you said you would. Keep your focus on why you are promising in the first place, not what you promised. The first focus brings joy and energy, the second stress.
Just do what you can do. Don't say what you can't do. First, this is about actions speaking louder than words. Second, framing everything in terms of what you can do (instead of what you can't) is liberating.
Think about WHY you are making promises in the first place. This can be a very fruitful question. The more insecure we feel, the more we feel the need to promise. When we feel secure, we just do.

Three-Minute Opportunities

COMPLIMENTARY COACHING
Get insight into an existing situation or problem.
Experience first-hand the benefits of an impartial sounding board
compsession04@touchpointcoaching.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ONGOING COACHING
Monthly coaching 4%, 7% or 10% of your monthly take-home
Hourly rates also available. Call me!
Coaching Format & Fees
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
RECLAIM YOUR ENERGY AND GET THE RESULTS YOU WANT
Blueprint for Success.Ebooklet by Louise Morganti Kaelin. Get F/ree when you join The 3-Minute Coach
Blueprint for Success
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
OTHER OPPORTUNITIES
Deals and Steals
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FREE TOOLS & INVENTORIES DELIVERED TO YOUR INBOX: My Autoresponders

Here's what's available to you:

ONE-PAGE SUMMARY PDF of ATTRACTION PRINCIPLES
Thomas Leonard's 28 Principles of Attraction
ONE-PAGE SUMMARY PDF of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
ONE-PAGE SUMMARY PDF of 21 LEADER'S QUALITIES
21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John Maxwell
100-POINT CLASS ACT ASSESSMENT
Track your progress towards becoming a Class Act.
100-POINT SUPERRESERVE ASSESSMENT
Identify areas where you already have reserves and find new ones.
EXERCISE: RELEASE THE PAST
PDF file with directions for letting go.
EXERCISE: WHEEL OF LIFE
PDF Exercise for gaining clarity on goals
EXERCISE: QUILTING BE
PDF Exercise to step outside the box and get a fresh perspective on a situation.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

3MC Country Update

Now read in 85 countries, with Azerbaijan and Egypt being the latest additions. Current subscribers: 9439. Thanks for passing it on!

Argentina, Australia, Austria, Azerbaijan, Bahamas, Bangladesh, Belgium, Botswana, Brazil, Canada, Chile, China, Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Croatia, Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, England, Estonia, Ethiopia, Fiji, Finland, France, Germany, Ghana, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Iran, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Kenya, Korea, Kuwait, Latvia, Lebanon, Macedonia, Malta, Malawi, Malaysia, Mexico, Negara Brunei Darussalam, Nepal, Netherlands, New Guinea, New Zealand, Nigeria, Norway, Pakistan, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Qatar, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Scotland, Singapore, South Africa, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sultanate of Oman, Sweden, Switzerland, Tanzania, Trinidad, Tunisia, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, United States, Uruguay, Venezuela, Vietnam, Wales, Yemen, Yugoslavia, Zambia, Zimbabwe

If your country is not on the list above, please email me

The 10% Invest-in-Yourself Program

To find out more about my 10% Invest-in-Yourself pricing module, check out my Coaching Format & Fees

All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-617-984-2868
Email: louise@touchpointcoaching.com
Web: http://touchpointcoaching.com
While you're there, register to win a free month of coaching.

Member, Better Business Bureau (R)
Serving Eastern Massachusetts, Maine & Vermont

Thanks for reading The 3-Minute Coach. Help spread the word! Please share The 3-Minute Coach with your mailing list, friends and associates -- anyone interested in living their life to its fullest potential. All I ask is that you observe the copyright guidelines listed below.

Copyright (c) 2002, all rights reserved. The 3-Minute Coach is a publication of TouchPoint Coaching. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter provided that The 3-Minute Coach is kept intact, and this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author are attached.