Welcome!
Personal Coach
Louise Kaelin
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Welcome!
Personal Coach
Louise Kaelin
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Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?
Welcome friends, old and new. Thank you for continuing to forward 3MC to
your friends. We currently have over 6800 subscribers and are now read in
66 countries with Estonia, Hungary and Qatar being the latest additions.
Hope your 2002 has started off with renewed energy and focus.
In joy, peace and gratitude,
Louise
"Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be. It takes twenty years of hard work to become an overnight success." --- Diana Rankin
If you're in the States, you know that the roto-rooter man comes and
cleans out your drains, making everything free flowing again. Basically,
he uses a tool that shakes everything up at high speeds to allow all the
blockages to disappear. Wouldn't it be great to have a tool that would do
that to your mind?
When you're feeling stuck and can't seem to get moving again, you can
become your own roto-rooter man. Just do one thing differently,
backwards, sideways, upside down. For example, if you never leave the
house, walk around the block. If you always leave your house driving off
the to the left, drive off to the right. If you always sit on the right
side of the couch, sit on the left, or better yet, the middle! Do chores
in reverse order than you usually do. Drive down a street you've never
been down before. If you're always on the phone, spend a night with a
book. If you're usually in bed by 10pm, stay up until midnight.
I think you get the idea. It doesn't need to be massive. Any change in
your routine will get your vital energies moving again. Then you can use
that energy however you wish. Even if you go back to your regular
routine, I think you'll find you have renewed energy for that.
Special Offer: Get a one-page PDF document of The Four Agreements by
sending an email to
4agreements04@touchpointcoaching.com
THE FOUR AGREEMENTS, by Don Miguel Ruiz.
(Amber-Allen Publishing, $12.95 USD.)
A code of conduct based on personal freedom.
Everything around you is a dream. Your life is a dream, only you find
yourself awake. There are many dreams. The dream of the individuals come
together to form the dream of the community, which come together to form
the dream of the nation and the dream of the planet. The dreams include
all of the knowledge about how to live in society, laws, language, social
customs and so forth. Children are taught the dream of the society by
their parents and teachers. I call this the domestication of humans.
Children don't have a choice in what they believe; they agree with
whatever they are told by adults. These agreements become beliefs. As
children we are domesticated in the same way as a pet. When you are good
you receive praise and when you are bad you are punished. We learn to try
to please others so they like and reward us.
After many years we don't need our parents to keep domesticating us, we
can do it for ourselves and also learn to domesticate others. Our beliefs
become so strong that I call them the 'Book of Law' because whatever is in
the Book of Law we take to be the absolute truth. Whenever we go against
the Book of Law we feel fear because we are breaking our own rules.
We all have a Judge who resides in our minds and determines whether we are
following the Book of Law and passes judgement on us (and everything
around us). We have a Victim who receives all the guilt and blame we
manufacture for ourselves.
The problem with humans is that whenever we make a mistake we pay for many
thousands of times. We are the only animal to do this. Most animals pay
for their mistake only once, while we keep reliving ours in our minds over
and over again. We also make others such (our spouse, kids, parents, etc)
pay for their mistakes continually as well.
While the dream of the planet varies from country to country, for the most
part it consists of fear and suffering. We don't see beauty any longer
because our minds are so fogged up with false beliefs.
We have agreements that make us suffer but we also have the power to
create new dreams. Every time we break and old agreement that no longer
serves us we become stronger.
There are 4 agreements:
The first agreement: BE IMPECABLE WITH YOUR WORD.
You word is the most powerful thing you have. The word is what you use to
communicate, think, create and dream. The word can change the lives of
countries and of people. Hitler used the word to convince people to commit
atrocious acts. The human mind is like a fertile garden; whatever seeds
you plant in it will grow. If you plant seeds of fear and destruction,
that is what will grow. If you plant seeds of beauty and harmony they will
come into your life.
During our domestication, when we were children, the word was very strong.
If someone said to you that you were ugly, then you would think that you
were ugly.
The original translation of the word impeccable is 'without sin'. When you
sin, you do something that goes against yourself of against what you
believe in. When you do this you are rejecting yourself. Therefore being
impeccable with your word means not using your word to go against
yourself.
If I call you names I am using my word against myself because you will
hate me because of it. Spreading poison in the form of hate, blame and
jealousy etc, is one way we misuse our word and create our own living
hell.
Many times we unintentionally spread poison to our children. We might tell
them that they have an ugly voice to keep them quiet while we work, but
they grow up believing that they can't sing.
Gossiping is another way we spread poison. Because gossiping is so
ingrained in our society it's very much like spreading and infectious
virus. Everyone who comes into contact with the gossip becomes infected
with it and damaged by it.
Agreement two: DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.
Don't take anything personally. Whatever anyone says about you, it's not
about you -- it's about them. When you take something personally it means
that you are agreeing with what they are saying. If someone calls you
stupid, then the minute you start to take it personally (agree with them)
then their poison starts to get to you.
People tend to take things personally because they believe that they are
the most important thing around. They are filled with their own sense of
self-importance. Everything is about them.
What someone else says about you has more to do with what is in their own
mind, and their own beliefs then it has about you. We therefore have to
make certain that we don't swallow other peoples poison or garbage.
What you think about me is not important. If you think I am great or if
you tell me that I am rotten, I won't take it personally. I know who I am
better then you do. By telling me these things you are reflecting
yourself, not me. If you tell me that I make you mad, or am hurting you
even then it is more about you then it is about me. Maybe something I have
said has touched a raw spot in you -- but you are dealing with yourself,
not with me.
Even what you think about yourself you should not take personally. It may
not be true. Your mind has many different voices. Some parts of the mind
listen while the others speak. Sometimes there are thousands of parts of
your mind speaking and listening at the same time, each with their own
unique personality. Maybe the agreements you have made are not compatible
with all parts of the mind, so a big war breaks out.
No matter what someone else does don't take it personally, even if they
lie, cheat or steal from you. The only reason why they would do these
things is because they are afraid. Once you learn how to master this
agreement you will see that you can live in paradise while being confined
to the middle of hell.
Agreement 3. DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
In life we make a lot of assumptions, and worse, we believe them. Making
assumptions can cause a lot of problems especially when we act on them. We
might, for example, make some assumptions about what others think about us
and react badly or in a negative way towards them.
We make assumptions because we need explanations (to our questions) so we
can order the chaos of our minds. But rather than finding out the reality
of the situation, we try to avoid looking ignorant by making up our own
answers. Answers make us feel secure whether they are right or not, and we
believe them because we like to believe that what we think is true.
How many times do we make assumptions about what our partners are
thinking? We think that we don't need to say what we want or mean, because
we assume our partner can read our.
The main assumptions we make are that people relate to the world in the
same way that we do. We make assumptions about our own abilities: 'I can't
do it, it won't turn out'. And we also make assumptions that we can change
our partners into different people.
Whenever we make these and other assumptions we are just setting ourselves
up for conflict. When you stop making assumptions everything changes, your
communications and relationships all improve for the better.
The best way to stop making assumptions is to ask a lot of questions and
to directly ask for what you want.
The fourth agreement: ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.
You should always do your best, no matter what. Sometimes your best will
be better then at other times. Sometimes you'll feel more capable and able
and other times you will feel less, but no matter what you should still do
your best. Not better and not less.
If you try to do more than your best you will end up wasting a lot of
energy. If you do less your quality of life will decline. When you do your
best all the time you'll gradually grow.
There was once a man who wanted to attain enlightenment. He asked the
master how long it would be to enlightenment if he mediated 4 hours a day.
He master said that it would take 10 years. He then asked the master how
long it would take to obtain enlightenment if he mediated 8 hours a day.
The master said it might take 20 years. When the man inquired as to why it
would take longer to obtain enlightenment if he mediated more the master
replied: 'You are not here to sacrifice your life. If you can do your best
in 2 hours and you spend 8 hours meditating you will grow tired and miss
the point'.
When you do your best you do things because you want to do them and not
because you have to. If you only work because you want a paycheck then
everything becomes more difficult. Work becomes frustrating and a
struggle. If you do something because you want to, rather then expecting a
return at the end, then you will enjoy what you are doing and will get
more out of life.
If you are enjoying what you are doing then it doesn't feel like work to
do your best. Whereas if you are doing something only because you have to
then it is very difficult to do your best at it.
The other 3 agreements will only work if you do your best at them. The
more you do your best, the better you become. Sometimes you might break
your word or take something personally, but don't judge yourself, just
agree to keep doing your best.
HE TOLTEC PATH TO FREEDOM
All around the world people are looking for and talking about freedom, but
what is it? We tell ourselves that many things (money, responsibilities
etc) stop us from being free -- but the truth is that we only have
ourselves to blame.
Young toddlers are free because they just do what they want -- they are
wild, playing having fun, and living in the present moment.
Adults are no longer free because of all the beliefs they have been
programmed with. Sometimes we start to have some fun, but very quickly
remind ourselves about all of our responsibilities'.
You need to realize that you are not free but a slave to the judge and the
victim. Once you realize this you can rebel against it. You can go into
your personal dream and start changing your agreements.
In Toltec wisdom we call the Judge, Victim and the Book of Law a parasite
of the mind because they live off of our fears and negative thoughts and
suck energy and life out of people. As we rebel against the parasite we
become warriors. There are 3 ways to do battle with the parasite:
First Path
THE DREAM OF THE SECOND ATTENTION
The first way to battle with the parasite is to face each of our fears one
by one. The parasite is like a thousand-head monster with each head
representing a fear or negative belief. You need to kill the monster to
get rid of the parasite.
By reviewing and reevaluating all of your beliefs you can consciously
choose what you want to believe. Unlike when you were a child and learning
your beliefs this time we have control over what you believe.
The first step is to take a stock take of all off your fears, negative and
limiting beliefs. I call this examination 'going into the desert' because
it is where we face our personal demons.
Every time you break an agreement that then gives you more energy and
personal power to break more. It's usually easier to start with the
smaller agreements and as you gain more power work your way up to the
larger agreements.
Next, you need to replace your old beliefs with new and positive ones of
your choosing. It's a slow process but if you're diligent you will
succeed.
The Second Path
CONTROLLING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR.
Imagine that you've woken up happy and excited about the day, but just
after breakfast you have a big fight with your spouse. The next thing you
know is that you feel tired and drained, maybe even for the rest of the
day.
We all have a certain amount of energy but it gets used up pretty quickly
if we allow our emotions to run us around. Then we'll end up with no
energy to live or change our life.
It's easy to see the world through the emotion you happen to be feeling.
If you are feeling, sad, or angry there is a good chance that the world
will seem that way to you.
Everyone has emotional wounds that hurt when others touch on them. Each
wound is infected with emotional poison (such as hate, jealousy etc) which
spreads when touched. Because everyone has these same wounds we think they
are normal but they are not.
We heal the wounds by forgiveness of ourselves, our parents, family,
friends and everyone who has wronged us. When you have forgiven you'll no
longer have any emotional reaction to that person. It's then that your
wounds will heal and you will stop spreading emotional poison. By doing
this we stop feeding the parasite and the emotions that feed it.
Third Path
EMBRACING THE ANGEL OF DEATH.
The 3rd path to personal freedom is to learn from death. If we were told
that we only had a short time to live then we could either become
miserable and a victim, - or enjoy every moment for the rest of our life
to the fullest. The only thing is that we don't need to wait until we are
about to die in order to realize that life is precious. We can live every
day as it is our last. I make sure that the people I love know and feel
that love because I may not have a chance to tell them tomorrow.
HEAVEN ON EARTH
You are creating your own dream. You have the ability to see life and love
in everything, to create a state of bliss and harmony.
This summary is copyright 2001 www.freebooksummaries.com. To see more about the book, visit Amazon.Com
"Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no
plans." - Peter Drucker
"The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to
it." -- Mack R. Douglas
"The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell
the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we
should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our
souls." - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
"Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi
"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their
commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of
endeavor." -- Vince Lombardi
"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers." -
James Thurber
1.) Ask yourself, "What's the worst that could happen?" Too often, we
place excess importance on potential problems. We all have a certain
amount of energy so let's apply it to creating extraordinary
relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of
wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over
and minimize risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.
2.) In doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already
done it in the past. Close your eyes, then vividly imagine you succeeding
wildly at what you are really going to do for the first time. The mind
does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and
something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.
3.) Find someone who is already confident in that area and copy them.
Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the
context you want to be confident in as you can. How can you do this? Talk
with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them,
get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people
who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
4.) Use the "as-if" frame. I literally love this frame of mind. If you
were confident, how would you be acting? How would you be moving? How
would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell
yourself inside? By asking yourself these questions, you are literally
forced to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be
acting "as-if" you are confident. Now just forget you are acting long
enough and pretty soon you'll develop it into a habit.
5.) Go into the future and ask if what you're faced with is such a big
deal. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well.
Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are
surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what
you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely.
Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.
6.) Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never
go for. To get what you want, ask for it. I fully believe that if I ask
enough people for whatever I want, I can get it. This is not necessarily
true and yet it's a useful belief. As you think about your goals and what
you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that
all the people out there want to help you if you only ask? Whether that is
true or not in the "real world" does not matter. If you find that belief
empowering, I invite you to adopt it as your own.
7.) Disarm the nagging, negative internal voice. That negative internal
voice can keep anyone stopped. To disarm the internal voice, imagine a
volume control and lower the volume. Or how about changing the internal
voice to Mickey Mouse? Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse seriously
if he were criticizing you? Change the voice to a clown voice. The point
is to disarm the voice by altering the way it nags at you. If I hear my
own voice nagging me, it stops me. If I hear a clown voice, I laugh and
continue onward.
-------------------------------------
This article is based on the book, "Unstoppable Confidence" by Kent Sayre
and printed here by permission of the author. To find out why Brian Tracy
said, "This wonderful book will give you the boost toward success that can
make all the difference!" you can
visit www.unstoppable-confidence.com
and check out their 100% Lifetime Guarantee.
Attraction is the ability to consistently draw the best things in life
towards you: opportunities, strong finances, rewarding relationships,
whatever you define as 'the best things'. Additionally, it means to draw
them forth effortlessly, without striving, scuffling or struggling.
Thomas J. Leonard has developed 28 Principles of Attraction in his book
"The Portable Coach". (Visit Amazon.Com) .
Each newsletter I will take one principle and highlight its key points.
For a pdf version of all 28 principles, email attraction04@touchpointcoaching.com .
Principle #1: BECOME INCREDIBLY SELFISH
Attraction works in the present. Not in the future.
CLARIFICATION
Let's get rid of the problem with the word selfish right away. What we have traditionally called selfish is really self-centeredness. That is a negative trait. Being selfish is not about putting yourself first. It is about putting your needs right up there next to everyone else's. That's a very different animal.
KEY POINTS
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If your country is not on the list above, please email me
Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to
help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-617-984-2868
Email: louise@touchpointcoaching.com
Web: http://touchpointcoaching.com
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In This Issue
Welcome
Food for Thought
Keep it Simple
Personal Roto-Rooter
Feature Article
Book Summary: The 4 Agreements
Related Quotes
Guest Column
Tips to Immediately Increase Your Confidence
Principles of Attraction
3Minute Opportunities
3MC Country Update
All That Biz