Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

October 10, 2001, Issue #27
The Wheel of Life

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Welcome friends, old and new. Thank you for continuing to forward 3MC to your friends.

Check out this week's "Three Minute Opportunities" for a great deal on a downloadable Tips Booklet by Kathryn Gray: "Your Money: 77 Strategies for Handling and Multiplying Your Money". In the next month, 3MC subscribers will also get an excellent introductory price on my booklet "Blueprint For Success: 101 WAYS TO RECLAIM YOUR VITAL ENERGY TO GET THE RESULTS YOU WANT". STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS!

Also, thanks to Vicky Kaiser who wrote recommending that I move the 3MC Country Update. You'll now find it right before the Copyright and Subscription Information. (Check it out - we're still expanding!)

In joy, peace and gratitude,

Louise

P.S. Take the Coaching Challenge! Find out today if you're ready, willing and able to be your best self, and register to win a free month of coaching while you're at it!. Contest

Food for Thought

"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling." --- Margaret Lee Runbeck

Keep It Simple

There is Only Now

As we go through our days, there are three feelings that we cycle through more than any others. These are guilt, fear and calm or centeredness. It is very important to pay attention to these three in particular. Guilt means we are focused on the past. Fear means we are focused on the future. When we are calm or centered, we know we are living in the present. While it is necessary to complete the past and plan for the future, these are not the actions we are engaged in when we feel fear or guilt.

When you notice either fear or guilt, take three long deep breaths, focusing on the in-and-out motion of your breath. 99.9% of the time this will bring you right back to the present. And there's nothing you can't deal with in the present. Keep telling yourself, now is about x (where x is 'driving to work, taking a shower, researching an answer, whatever it is you are engaged in). You will be surprised how easy it is to regain control. Let me know how this works for you!

Feature Article

The Wheel of Life

As we move forward, a lot of us are looking at our lives and reprioritizing. To help you in this process, here are some exercises to help you identify where you might be out of balance and get you started on creating the life you want. [If you prefer, you can obtain a PDF version of this exercise by autoresponder Send Me Wheel of Life in PDF format ]

Draw a Circle
Divide it into 10 wedges.
Label each wedge with one of the following:
- Love/Intimacy
- Work/Career
- Community/Support
- Health
- Fun/Play
- Creativity
- Personal Growth
- Home/Environment
- Money/Wealth
- Spirit
For each area, identify where you are at this point in time. How satisfied are you with that area of your life. Use a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being very little or no satisfaction and 10 being fully satisfied. The center of the circle is 0; the outer edge of the circle is 10. Put a dot on the approximate point in each wedge. (e.g. A satisfaction level of "5" would be smack-dab in the middle of the wedge.)
"Connect" the dots. Draw a line from one wedge to the next to create a 'circle within the circle'. How round is your inner circle? If it was a wheel, would it be a smooth or bumpy ride?
Start with a clean piece of paper. For each of the 10 areas listed above, identify what success in that area would look and feel like. Write this out as richly as possible.
On the next piece of paper, identify what your beliefs about each of these areas are. Your beliefs can either bolster you and bring you closer to achieving your goals OR they can totally prevent you from reaching success. If you find a belief that doesn't support you, rewrite it as what belief you need to have in order to reach your goal. Repeat it frequently, seeing what comes up for you. Face the fear and repeat the new belief. An example might be "I don't deserve love" to "I deserve to love and be loved".
On a final new sheet, draw a grid. The columns will be as follows:
- Area
- Priority (Ranked from 1 to 10)
- What I already have in this area
- Major Goal
- Achieve by When
- 3 Things I can do towards this goal
- One Action Step to Take This week
Under Area, use the life categories listed on the Wheel of Life.
Priority. Which area is most important to you. Rank from 1st to 10th. (When done, you should see all the numbers from 1 to 10 on your sheet, although probably not in order!)
Already Have. Identify What you already have in this area. Remember to be grateful for what exists!
Major Goal. What is a major goal for you in this area? Is it linked to your definition of success?
Achieve by When. What is your time frame for achieving this goal?
3 Things Can Do. Identify 3 things you can do toward achieving the goal. For example, if 'Move to New Apartment' was a major goal under 'Home/Environment', three things could be: (1) Buy newspaper and check out ads. (2) Identify area of town I want to live in (3) Talk to a realtor.
One Action Step to Take This Week. Identify one thing you can do this week. In the example listed above, your one action step might be to drive around different parts of the city to get a feel for different ones to see where you want to live. ANY action towards one of your goals counts and starts building momentum.

Related Quotes

"Set priorities for your goals. A major part of successful living lies in the ability to put first things first. Indeed, the reason most major goals are not achieved is that we spend our time doing second things first." -- Robert J. McKain

"The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man." -- Euripides

"True balance requires assigning realistic performance expectations to each of our roles. True balance requires us to acknowledge that our performance in some areas is more important than in others. True balance demands that we determine what accomplishments give us honest satisfaction as well as what failures cause us intolerable grief." - Melinda Marshall

The Welcome Mat Guest Column:

The Curse of Perfectionism
By Dr. Donald E. Wetmore

There's a rule known as the Pareto Principle. It teaches us that 20% of our efforts produce 80% of our results. The additional 80% of our efforts will only yield an additional 20% of results. The first thrust of effort then is the most productive use of our time. The latter thrust is very costly.

For example, let's say you allocate 2 hours (which we'll represent as 20% of your time) to clean a room, a basement, or a garage. Let's say that will you will be able to get it to be 80% clean. It won't be perfect, but it will be acceptable and a job well done. However, to squeeze out an additional 20% of results, to make it "perfectly clean", will require an additional 80% of your time, or 8 hours. The additional results are sixteen times more costly than the initial results from 20% of the effort, not to mention that while you're trying to squeeze out those additional results, you are kept from doing a lot of other more productive things.

This rule has a lot of application to you as a time manager. Ever notice if you're in sales how 20% of your customers give you 80% of your sales and the other 80% of your customers give you the remaining 20% of your business? Where then should you be spending 80% of your time? With the 20% of the customers who are giving you 80% of your business.

Ever notice how 20% of your relatives give your 80% of your headaches?

It may not always work with exact mathematical precision, but, typically, the small chunk of input yields the biggest chuck of output or results.

Most of us benefit from this rule intuitively. When you and I approach a task (clean a room, prepare a term paper, write up a project, etc.) we decide to put in a reasonable amount of time and effort to achieve a reasonable result. The result may not be perfect but it will be acceptable and this will free us to devote our time to tackling other endeavors.

We put in a reasonable amount of time and produce a pretty decent report. It may not be perfect, but putting in a whole lot more time to make it a little better is not cost-effective and therefore not worth the effort.

Those who suffer from the Curse of Perfectionism do not understand this principle. Their goal is always perfection, which, realistically, is unattainable. For example, you cannot clean a room perfectly. As you clean it, it's getting dirty as dust settles. Any written report can be polished and improved upon with more time and effort. Striving for perfection is then always stressful and frustrating.

Their overall productivity suffers as they spend an inordinate amount of time on a few things, trying to make them perfect, rather than a lesser amount of time on a lot of things that will multiply their results.

The curse is cured when they abandon the need to do their tasks perfectly, when they understand that excellence in performance is attaining a degree of perfection, not absolute perfection. This does not compromise one's standard of excellence in performance. It enhances excellent performance with increased results.

For a humorous break for you and to share with others, get your free copy now of my short article, "You Just Might A Workaholic". (If you use your cell phone in the shower to return business calls in the morning before work, you might just be a workaholic. If you set your alarm for 2:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. so you can check your voicemail, well, you just might be a workaholic.) It's free and fun. To get yours now, email your request for "might" to: cts-@msn.com

Receive your free Timely Time Management Tips on a regular basis in your email to increase your personal productivity and get more out of every day? Sign up now for your free "TIMELY TIME MANAGEMENT TIPS". Just go to: www.topica.com/lists/timemanagement and select "subscribe".

Copyright 2001
Dr. Donald E. Wetmore, Professional Speaker,
Productivity Institute / Time Management Seminars /
60 Huntington St., P.O. Box 2126 / Shelton, CT 06484
(800) 969-3773 / (203) 929-9902 / fax: (203) 929-8151
cts-@msn.com
Visit the Time Management Supersite: www.balancetime.com

Louise Hay Power Card of the Week

Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the best-selling author of 27 books, including "You Can Heal Your Life" and "Empowering Women". She has recently created a set of 64 Power Thought Cards, with beautifully illustrated affirmations. Each newsletter, I will share one of these wonderful thoughts.

Note: I know I used this card a few issues back, but I shuffled and pulled twice and this card came out twice, so I felt I had to go with it again. It certainly feels relevant.

Power Card:	I am at peace.
Affirmation:	Divine peace and harmony surround me and dwell in me. I feel tolerance, compassion, and love for all people, myself included.

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-617-984-2868
Email: louise@touchpointcoaching.com
Web: http://touchpointcoaching.com
While you're there, register to win a free month of coaching.

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Copyright (c) 2001, all rights reserved. The 3-Minute Coach is a publication of TouchPoint Coaching. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter provided that The 3-Minute Coach is kept intact, and this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author are attached.