Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

June 8, 2001, Issue #22
Life Lessons, Volume 2

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Welcome friends, old and new.

Hope you enjoy this version of the newsletter. Also wanted to say thanks for continuing to share it!

Have a joy-full two weeks!

Louise

Food for Thought

"Two things, well considered, would prevent many quarrels; first to have it well ascertained whether we are not disputing about terms rather than things; and secondly, to examine whether that on which we differ is worth contending about." --- C.C. Colton

Keep It Simple

Have An Intention, Not An Expectation

Think about the various situations in your life and what you would like to achieve in each of them. Do you have intentions? Or expectations? An intention is a clear statement of what YOU plan to do to accomplish something you want. An expectation is a vague feeling that SOMEONE (and not you!) will make what you want happen. With expectations, you don't have to do anything. Of course, you seldom get what you want, either. Intentions are powerful - and empowering. Expectations give your power to someone else as they become responsible for what happens to you. So, take a few minutes to review what's going on in your life and determine if you are coming from intention or expectation. It only takes a moment to change expectations to intentions and you will be glad you did.

Feature Article

Life Lessons, Volume 2

Some more lessons life has taught me:

I'D RATHER BE HAPPY THAN RIGHT.
There have been times in my life when I've done some serious negative self-talk. And everything in my life seemed to confirm that I was correct in my thinking. What I didn't realize for a long time is that I needed and wanted those confirming events. It wasn't the event spurring the thought, but the thought spurring the event. Because what was more important to me than releasing the negative thought was, if you can believe it, being RIGHT! We are so wrapped up in our ego, that it is often more important to us to be right than to be happy. And even once we see the connection, it's hard to switch, to let go of the negativity. Even when we decide we'd rather be happy than right, our egos fight us. We feel like we will have to compromise or give in, even though ultimately we really want to experience life's happiness. It feels like admitting we're wrong, that we are less somehow. Taking a deep breath helps. So does being honest with myself.. I want to be happy. If that means backing down from a position, so be it. The people who really care about me would rather see me happy, too.

I'M UNIQUE, BUT I'M NOT SPECIAL.
There's a difference between being unique and being special. Being unique means there is only one me, a unique combination of skills, talents, perspectives, experiences and knowledge. Being special means that combination is somehow 'entitled'. Wanting to be unique is freeing. Wanting to be special is limiting. I think this is true because when we think we're special, we have certain expectations that seldom get met. And expectations that don't get met set us up for disappointment and frustration, which limit us and keep us limited.

I CAN HAVE IT ALL. I JUST CAN'T HAVE IT ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
I don't always like this one. We can have everything that our hearts desire and that we're willing to do the work for. It's just that it's almost impossible to focus on that many things at the same time. So, and I'm just beginning to understand this, it's not about not having it all at the same time as much as it is about not CREATING it all at the same time. If we can let go of the timing of it, and accept that when it's time, we will be able to put all of our energies into creating a particular thing, it frees up a lot of energy to focus on what we want in our life NOW.

I DON'T NEED TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING TO MOVE PAST IT.
For a long time, my life has been about making connections. To me, that means understanding what's going on, the whys behind my actions or the event, and making the connection in the shortest time possible. I have always felt that awareness is the first step in overcoming any limitation. For the most part, this works pretty well. If you're willing to ask the questions, you usually get the answers. When the answers don't come right away, however, it can be a very frustrating experience. More than frustrating, there have been many times in my life where my not being able to understand has brought me to the point of physical illness, usually something that lays me out for a while. Moving forward (and physical recovery) has only come once I understood the link, what lay behind what was going on. But, lately, I have become aware that this need to understand every thing has limited me at different points in my life, because until I 'understood', I couldn't move forward. This kept me stuck more times than I care to count. So I've been working on this one

Related Quotes

"When the student is ready. . . the lesson appears." -- Gene Oliver

"One thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first time." -- Author Unknown

"Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. -- Sir Winston Churchill

"Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on." -- Samuel Butler

"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival." -- W. Edwards Deming

"It is better to learn late than never." -- Publilius Syrus

"The only real failure in life is one not learned from." -- Anthony J. D'Angelo

"There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go." -- Richard Bach

Louise Hay Power Card of the Week

Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the best-selling author of 27 books, including "You Can Heal Your Life" and "Empowering Women". She has recently created a set of 64 Power Thought Cards, with beautifully illustrated affirmations. Each newsletter, I will share one of these wonderful thoughts.

Power Card:	I let go of all expectations.
Affirmation:	I flow freely and lovingly with life. I love myself. I know that only good awaits me at every turn.

All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-617-984-2868
Email: louise@touchpointcoaching.com
Web: http://touchpointcoaching.com
While you're there, register to win a free month of coaching.

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Copyright (c) 2001, all rights reserved. The 3-Minute Coach is a publication of TouchPoint Coaching. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter provided that The 3-Minute Coach is kept intact, and this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author are attached.