Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

May 25, 2001, Issue #21
Who Do I Have To Be?

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Here in the States we are approaching the Memorial Day Weekend, the traditional start to summer. It is hard to believe that this year is racing by so fast. How are you doing on your theme for the year? It's a great time to revisit this year's theme and take stock of how you're doing.

Have a joy-full two weeks!

Louise

Food for Thought

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." --- Mark Twain

Keep It Simple

Stop Seeing Life as All or Nothing

So often in life, we find ourselves viewing life in an all or nothing, black or white mode. You know what I mean. You miss the green light by 30 seconds and suddenly your whole life is a negative mass of failure and defeat. You hang your head down and wonder what's the point of going on. Everything you try. like trying to make that green light . just doesn't work and you are doomed to failure. Ever been there?

Not only do we sometimes view our own life that way, but we put certain expectations on others' behavior and view that with our black or white filters. Very few things in life really fit into this category. And this kind of thinking definitely complicates your life.

If you find yourself going down the all or nothing road, here are two possible things you can do.

Stand back far enough to see the forest. Put that green light into perspective. How many green lights have you gone through in your life? How many more are you likely to go through. On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is that green light? Take a deep breath, allow yourself to smile at yourself, and continue down the road.
Another option is to give yourself 5 minutes to "go with it". Starting with the green light, you have 5 minutes to bring this situation down the worst possible road possible. Throw in every possible negative thing you can. At the end of 5 minutes, take a long, deep slow breath. It sometimes feels like all the cobwebs have been shaken off. Good, now look at the green light and you'll be surprised how difficult it is to see missing it in a negative light. Try it! [Obviously, you don't want to sit at the light to do this exercise, especially not here in Boston!]

Feature Article

Who Do I Have To Be?

I recently attended a teleclass on Business Turnarounds and the instructor asked this question in many ways and in many situations. The more I heard it, the more powerful I realized it is.

It is a very simple, very effective way to envision the future and to identify the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Who "do" I have to be to [fill in the blank]?

There is no limit on the answer. you have the 'right' answer or answers inside you.

For example, who do I have to be to make money doing work I love? Some one who is unafraid. Someone who is willing to take risks. Someone who is willing to be unconventional or untraditional. Someone who trusts God and the Universe to send the opportunities and who trusts my self enough to take advantage of them. [These are my answers. Yours will probably be different.]

Once the answers come to me, I need to look at each of them. The fact that the question is out there makes me think that, in this moment, I am feeling fear and not trusting. The next step is to convert my responses to affirmations in the present tense. I am willing to make a living doing work I love. I am a risk-taker. I am willing to be unconventional. I trust God and myself.

Try working with this question for a while and let me know how it works for you.

Some additional variations might be:

-What kind of company must we be in order to attract the associates and customers we want to attract? [This one probably depends on how you have defined your ideal associates/employees and ideal customers.]

-What kind of wife/husband must I be in order to be in a loving, nurturing relationship?

> -Who must I be in order to live a life of integrity with my beliefs and values?

-What kind of [profession/job title] must I be in order to grow a reputation as an outstanding [profession/job title].

-What kind of parent must I be in order for my kids to enjoy spending time with me?

I'm sure you can think of others and apply this to your life.

Related Quotes

"The important thing is not to stop questioning" -- Albert Einstein

"The wise man doesn't give the right answers, he poses the right questions." -- Claude Levi-Strauss

"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers." -- James Thurber

"Good questions outrank easy answers." -- Paul A. Samuelson

"A wise man's question contains half the answer." -- Solomon Ibn Gabirol

"A prudent question is one half of wisdom." -- Sir Francis Bacon

Louise Hay Power Card of the Week

Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the best-selling author of 27 books, including "You Can Heal Your Life" and "Empowering Women". She has recently created a set of 64 Power Thought Cards, with beautifully illustrated affirmations. Each newsletter, I will share one of these wonderful thoughts.

Power Card:	I trust the process of life.
Affirmation:	There is a rhythm and flow to Life, and I am part of it. Life supports me and brings to me only good and positive experiences. I trust the process of Life to bring me my highest good.

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-484-660-3143
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Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

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