Welcome!
Personal Coach
Louise Kaelin
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Welcome friends, old and new.
The 3-Minute Coach continues to grow and is now read in 43 countries!!!
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United States, Wales, Yemen, Yugoslavia,
Have a joy-full two weeks!
Louise
"Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out." --- Art Linkletter
The following are excerpts from "Not Just for CEO's" by John Zenger.
How to Get the Most from a DIFFICULT Boss:
How to Get the Most from a COACHING boss:
Of course, most bosses are difficult at times and helpful at others, so in the final analysis you may need to apply all these guidelines!
Every now and again (if we're lucky, it's only every now and again), life
forces us to become aware of its cyclical nature: the ocean's relentless
ebb and flow, the budding of spring, the desolation of winter. We are
confronted by inescapable facts, facts that in the hustle and bustle of
every day life we are usually able to ignore. The fact that life goes on,
but it also slows down, and ultimately, comes to an end.
Life has thrown one of these cold hard facts my way. My dad, as I tell
people, "isn't doing well". He's doing as well as can be expected "under
the circumstances". The circumstances seem to be that all of his organs
are slowing down and refusing to work the way they were intended to work.
He's not in pain but he's not really himself either. He's not the loving
vital man I remember, the man whose faults sometimes outweighed his
virtues, but whose love and strength and gentleness are the legacy he will
leave. He wasn't a talker, but he was a feeler. And I'm incredibly
grateful for all the years we've had together, and God willing, for more
times together in the future.
But, those times won't be the same. That much I've come to accept,
although I've spent the last 6 months to a year, pretending that it wasn't
so. But pretending didn't change the cold hard facts. Because we are
separated geographically (about an 8 hours drive worth) I don't get to see
my parents as often as I'd like. And that certainly helped me maintain the
illusion. I didn't want to believe it, so it wasn't so!
Last weekend, my husband and I did a quick trip down to visit my parents
and see my dad in the hospital. Before I left, I was speaking to a friend,
who was talking about her relationship with her elderly parents. At some
point in the conversation, she talked about being 'complete' with her
parents and asked me if I was 'complete' with my dad.
That definitely started me thinking. To be 'complete' means to have no
unfinished business with someone or some thing. I am grateful to her for
asking me that question, because otherwise I'm not sure I would have
thought about it until it was too late. The more I thought about it,
though, the more I realized that I did feel complete. That there was
nothing left unfinished or unsaid. And as I sat by his bedside, I was
sure. My heart is filled with sadness, but it is the natural sadness of
the passage of time and our inability to stop the process of aging.
This wasn't always the case, however. I believe I was 27 or 28 the first
time I ever remembered my dad saying "I love you" to me. And because he
never said it, it wasn't something I found easy to say to him (although it
was very easy with my mother). I can still see myself sitting on the couch
in the back room of my old apartment. We had finished a conversation and I
said "I love you". It was a little scary, and I know I had to work myself
up to it.. And I remember having prepared myself for silence. But there
wasn't silence. He said "I love you too", then 'bye' and hung up. In
fact, although he said it, he said it as though he was surprised it needed
to be said. I told you he wasn't a talker!
I sat in stunned silence for a long time. It seemed - and was - such a
momentous occasion. I was sure I'd never forget it - and I haven't. Even
though it became a regular occurrence, I've never forgotten the magic of
that first time. In many ways, I even feel lucky that it took so long. It
never became rote or meaningless. I was always aware of the special-ness
of that exchange.
But if my dad had gotten to where he is now before we had that opportunity,
would I have felt so complete then? I am positive that I would not. My
need to hear him say it (I always knew in my head that he loved me, but I
still needed to hear the words!) was pretty strong. The thought of never
hearing him say it or of my being able to say it to him freely and without
hesitation brings a different kind of sadness, a different kind of loss.
So, luckily for me, my dad's doing a whole lot better in the last few days
and I still have lots of time to enjoy this exchange with him. But what
about you? If you got a call today that said your father, mother, husband,
wife, son, daughter, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandfather,
grandmother, mother-in-law, father-in-law was gone, what would you regret
not saying? Same holds true for you. We often think we have plenty of time
to 'clean things up. The truth is, we usually don't so don't delay. Get
on the phone and say it now.
Sometimes what we need to say is harder than 'I love you". If you feel what
you need to say is too painful and you don't think you can actually say it
to them, then write a letter to them that you never plan to send. The
important thing is to release the energy, and it is much simpler to do this
while they are still alive. You will notice a difference in your
interactions and you will feel 'complete'.
If that person is already gone, then definitely write the letter. Pour out
all your feelings, love, anger, sadness, whatever comes up. It will be
helpful if you burn the letter after you are done. Create a "releasing"
ritual of your own.
'Completeness' is a gift you give yourself and your loved ones. I hope
you'll give it soon.
"What's gone and what's past help, Should be past grief." -- William
Shakespeare
"So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it
remains the measure of our stability because it measures our sense of
loyalty. All other pacts of love or fear derive from it and are modeled
upon it.." - Haniel Long
"What breaks in a moment may take years to mend.." -- Swedish proverb
"The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands." --
Alexander Penney
"Make time your friend by finding a cause for joy in every moment."
Alan Cohen, from "The Healing of The Planet Earth."
Finding a cause for joy in every moment, is a wonderful philosophy by which
to live. But it's not easy. One of the obstacles to joy and peace is the
way in which time has come to dominate our lives. We have allowed it to
become our master, when it should be our servant. Or better still, our
friend. The attitude we choose to adopt toward time has an immeasurable
impact on the way we think, the way in which we live and our ability to be
true to ourselves.
To understand the metaphysical implications of time, you don't have to know
how science explains it or how it relates to the laws of physics. You just
need to be aware of how it affects your life and the way you process its
effects. The way you treat time is another choice you make that can have
either an expansive or a limiting effect on your ability to be true to your
self.
Time is a measure that human beings devised to give life order and
structure and to make sense of the natural cycles of the planets. In the
modern world, time still provides a framework for the organization of our
lives, but it also harnesses us to an unnecessary work routine and
ruthlessly measures the aging process.
My dictionary defines time as "the interval between two points on a
non-spatial continuum in which events occur in succession." Conventional
wisdom tells us that events take place in a sequential order that's
irreversible, making it impossible to travel backwards or forwards in time
except in our thoughts, where we do it at will.
In fulfilling its function as a means of measurement, time has served us
well. It's difficult to imagine how the human race would have developed
without the measure of time. We would have been late for just about
everything! But now, the tail is wagging the dog and we have enslaved
ourselves. Not to the ethereal unreality of time, from which we can escape
from time to time (forgive the pun), but to the almighty, omnipotent
Clock-God.
We have relinquished our freedom and now live our lives according to the
Clock-God's laws. Clocks tell us when to start work and when to finish.
They tell us when to eat, even if we aren't hungry. They tell us we should
be in bed, even if we aren't sleepy. They jangle insistently, or turn on
inane radio shows, to get us up in the morning, even though we're still
dog-tired. They tell us when to be at work (weekdays) and when to be at
leisure (weekends), causing an artificial separation of the two. We measure
many athletic achievements not by how poetically beautiful and magnificent
they are to witness, but by one of the Clock-God's precocious offspring -
the stop watch.
You may think that cars cause traffic jams, but that isn't so. The
Clock-God causes them. He (or is it She?) tells us all to be on the road at
more or less the same time each morning and evening. Clocks also determine
the size of our phone bills and how much we pay lawyers who are already
obscenely rich. They determine what we owe accountants, whom we pay to find
out how poor we are and how much we owe the government.
Writers don't have nine-to-five jobs, but when I first began writing, I
continued to buy in to the universal agreement to use this all-powerful
device to measure my life. The Clock-God icon on my wall, which was
synchronized to other Clock-God icons all over the world, give or take a
time zone or two, still dominated my thinking.
Although I didn't realize it at the time, I was suffering from Clock-guilt.
Frequently, I would wake up in the small hours and be unable to get back to
sleep. When this happened I would get up, go to my computer and write for
four or five hours. I would then go back to bed at round 8:00 or 9:00 am,
sleep for a few hours and resume working later in the day, often continuing
late into the evening.
When I first starting doing this, I felt it was wrong. I was going to bed
at a time when other people were going to work! The Clock-God was
controlling my conscience and I had a tough time breaking its vice-like
grip. Since then, I've learned to put these guilt feelings aside, realizing
they're a natural reaction to many previous years of working by the Clock.
I now count myself fortunate that I can work more flexible hours than most
people.
Clocks even tell us how old we are. Part of the universal agreement with
the Clock-God is that we all measure our age by the Clock and another of
its autocratic offshoots, the calendar. As they age, some people even allow
the Clock-God to dictate what they should or should not do in life. Whoa,
I'm sixty clock-years old - time to give up sex and start wearing a flannel
nightshirt!
But despite the human preoccupation with the Clock-God, Nature doesn't
measure time in years and months, weeks and days, hours and minutes. Nature
flows and just is. We have taken Nature's cycles of light and dark, and
turned them into a non-spatial straitjacket called time.
Just imagine how free and easy life would be if we could repeal the
Clock-God's laws! We could go to work whenever it felt right, eat when we
were hungry and sleep when we felt drowsy. Deadlines would become
livelines, organic and changeable according to whatever purpose we were
pursuing. No one would know how old we are, including ourselves, and sex
would go on right up until the day we passed away. Better still, it might
be the cause of passing away!
Unfortunately, the result of abandoning the Clock-God would be the collapse
of society as we know it. In some ways, that may not be a bad thing, but it
would result in unbearable chaos. But hold it. Maybe we can usurp the
Clock-God without bringing anarchy and chaos down on ourselves. How? By
changing our attitude toward time.
If we treated every moment as precious, we wouldn't waste time on fearful
thoughts. We wouldn't procrastinate about pursuing our dreams. We would
free ourselves to achieve everything that our higher selves are capable of
achieving and find joy in every moment. In short, we would think of time as
our friend.
--------------
John Scriven is an author of self-help and business improvement books. He
is also a songwriter and recently produced a CD of inspirational songs
called SONGS FROM THE ROAD TO ENLIGHTENMENT - A Rock
'n Roll Journey Of The Spirit.
Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the best-selling author of 27 books, including "You Can Heal Your Life" and "Empowering Women". She has recently created a set of 64 Power Thought Cards, with beautifully illustrated affirmations. Each newsletter, I will share one of these wonderful thoughts.
| Power Card: | My income is constantly increasing. |
| Affirmation: | I begin, now, today, to open myself to ever-increasing prosperity. |
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Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to
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Phone: 1-484-660-3143
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(c) Copyright - Louise Morganti Kaelin, All rights reserved worldwide.
Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at
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In This Issue
Welcome
Food for Thought
Keep it Simple
How to Handle Your Boss
Feature Article
Feeling Complete
Related Quotes
Guest Column
Making Time Your Friend
Louise Hay Power Card
3Minute Tools
All That Biz
