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The 3-Minute Coach

December 6, 2000, Issue #10
Baker's Dozen: Holiday Tips

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Welcome friends, old and new.

It's hard to believe that we are gearing up for the holidays already! It's hard to believe that, after all the Y2K mania, we're about to enter 2001! This newsletter is dedicated to helping you make December a stress-free relaxing month.

Have a joy-full two weeks!

Louise

Food for Thought

"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life." --- Muhammad Ali

Keep It Simple

For the Holidays

In keeping with this week's theme, a great way to Keep it Simple! this holiday season is to:

GIVE GIFTS THAT DISSIPATE
The more gifts you can give that dissipate over time the simpler you'll keep your life and the life of those you love. Examples are flowers, food, fruit, perfume and tickets (to movies, plays, seminars, etc).. These all expire after a period of time, but the smile and the memory lasts forever.

SORT AND DE-JUNK HOLIDAY DECORATIONS
Before putting your decorations away for next year, take some time to get rid of items that are past their prime. Then sort and pack away into labeled boxes, ready for next year.

Feature Article

Baker's Dozen: Tips for the Holidays

With Thanksgiving behind us, all of our attention turns towards the end of December. Christmas and Chanukah are zooming towards us at the speed of light. It is arguably the busiest time of the year for many people. On top of our normal obligations and responsibilities, there is so much to be done to prepare for the holidays. Here are some thoughts on helping you keep December a stress-free and joyful month, all 31 days of it!

Remember the religious significance.
Reminding yourself about the true significance of the holiday helps put everything into perspective. It also allows you to take a deep breath. You'll find you return to whatever you're doing with renewed energy and joy.
Make your list early.
Even if you don't like shopping until the last minute, find time early in the month to write out the names of everyone you plan to give a present. This helps put them in your mind and avoids last minute embarrassments (so does buying a few extra 'general' gifts). Writing the names down starts the brain cells working. By the time you get around to shopping, you'll have a pretty good idea of what you'd like to give that person. In addition, when you're shopping, you'll find the 'perfect' gift jump out and catch your eye.
Don't Forget the Stocking Stuffers
Very often, it's the small gifts that make the most impact: favorite toiletries, socks, that stuffed animal that looks like your loved one's favorite cartoon character, batteries, all those little everyday items. These small items let people know how well you really know them and bring some pretty big smiles!
Shop Online
Do it early to make sure packages get there in time. If being in a crowded mall helps get you in the spirit of the season, you can still go to the stores. But you get to walk around and really soak in the festive spirit. No stress, no panic.
Give of Yourself
Give someone a gift of you: your time, your attention, your love. A great way to do this is to give "Personal Certificates". You can get really creative with these: One Week of No Decisions; One Month of You Doing Their Least-Favorite Chore, A Promise to Watch 5 Movies of Their Choosing With Them (This is a favorite in our house!). These make perfect stocking stuffers.
Store Gift Cards Make Awesome Presents
First, they're easy on you. Second, the receiver gets to buy something they really like at one of their favorite stores. We did this last year in my husband's family. We each made a list of five favorite stores (this kept the element of surprise). It was a wonderful experience as we shopped at those stores later. I think many of us bought things we might not have and got to experience the holiday feeling all over again.
Determine Your Budget
Figure out how much money you can afford to spend on gifts, and then stick to it. The holidays are not enjoyable when you pay for them all year long. Pay by cash or debit card whenever possible so that when the holiday is over, it's over.
Use Bags Instead of Wrapping Paper
Unless you're done shopping in October (and I know you're out there!), the wrapping of all those presents can create stress. If you're pressed for time, use those great gift bags. Add some tissue and a pretty bow and you're all set. You can buy plain bags fairly inexpensively and decorate them yourself (Holiday cards you got last year are perfect for this).
Send Holiday Emails Instead of Cards
Know your audience for this one! Many people will appreciate a quick email and others will be offended. It will depend on your relationship. However, if the choice is between not sending anything and an email, I vote for the email.
Share Your Family's News
I've always enjoyed the newsletter-type inserts that some people put in their holiday cards. This is especially true for individuals I don't get to see on a regular basis. It keeps me up to date on what's going on with their family. What's been happening with your family?
Include Non-Family Members
Who do you know that is alone this holiday season? Don't forget couples without families in the area. One or two more at the holiday table creates a bonus for everyone involved.
Don't Do It Alone
Include everyone in the household regardless of the project. Remember, the holidays are about sharing time with friends and family. If you think about your memories of the holidays, I suspect it's not the gifts you received over the years, but things like decorating the tree together, wrapping the presents together, etc.
What if You're Alone?
If you're alone, I have several recommendations. One is to focus on giving. How can you spend the day (or days) doing something that will make you feel good? Volunteering at different organizations is an excellent way to spend the holiday. The second suggestion is to visualize what you'd like the holiday to be. Get a very clear picture of you enjoying the day with caring friends. Then put it out to the Universe. If you are very clear about not spending the holiday alone, you will start to run into people who want to share their holiday with you!

Related Quotes

"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." -- Kin Hubbard

"A good conscience is a continual Christmas." -- Benjamin Franklin

The Welcome Mat Guest Column:

Using a Journal for Personal Development
by Asoka Selvarajah, Ph.D

A great man once said that a life worth living is a life worth recording. With this truth in mind, let us examine the time-honoured method of keeping a Journal as a powerful tool for self-improvement.

Firstly, understand that a Journal is NOT a diary. Although the line is definitely blurred, a diary largely deals with externals. A Journal is about your inner being. It is actively used as a tool for self-improvement, as opposed to passively recording events.

The benefits of keeping a Journal are that through doing so, you monitor your own internal processes. It can be used to integrate psychological parts within yourself that have long remained in conflict. A Journal can help you see the changing cycles within your life - processes that only become evident when rigorous self-examination is used. It helps you to remember your dreams, and begin to understand and gain insight from them. Most importantly, the keeping of a Journal puts you ever closer in touch with the Higher Self - the highest part of you responsible for creativity, wisdom and for orchestrating the events of your life.

In short, keeping a Journal turns your life from a seemingly random succession of events into a well-defined school. You begin to see the lessons in your life and put them into practice.

What is the best procedure? There are many, and it is really a very in-depth subject. In this short discussion, we shall examine a few ideas to get you on the road of at least starting a Journal and thereby experiencing immediate benefits.

The first step is to physically get yourself a suitable Journal. This should ideally be an A4 book with either lined or unlined paper. Don't get a diary as you will not be doing a "day to a page" or anything like that. However, the book you buy should ideally have section dividers of some sort. Alternatively, you can buy a file folder, corresponding pad of paper, and a set of dividers. Use the dividers to create different sections in your Journal.

The first section you should keep is the Daily Log. Here, you make brief entries during the day, preferably immediately after the event. In this section, you record any internal events that you deem of importance. Emotions, reactions, thoughts, realizations, interactions with people or situations, and the internal effects they had upon you. If there was an external trigger, you record just enough of it to make sense of the entry. The key here is brevity.

Even though your outer life may be relatively uneventful from one day to the next, you will soon find that your inner life is alive and rich and full of happenings. As you do this over time, more insights will begin to occur. For instance, you will start to perceive the triggers that cause your behaviour. You will become increasingly aware of how you handle yourself and how you could do better. You will become less "automatic" and more conscious of your choices in each and every situation.

Another section you should keep is a dream journal. Here you record ANY impressions, fragments or complete dreams that you recall. If you do not normally remember dreams, this procedure will help stimulate recall. Keep the Journal by your bed and record anything that you remember. Better still, tell yourself before you sleep that you WILL remember your dreams. If you still don't remember anything, consider setting an alarm clock at some point in the night, and write down whatever you recall as soon as you awaken. If the answer is nothing, reset the alarm clock!

Dreams are one place where your intuitive, creative self - which can only speak in images - seeks to establish communication with you. Thus by making this effort, you begin to come into conscious communion with parts of yourself that transcend your normal conscious intelligence.

The next section is where you ask questions that you need answers to. These can relate to any area of your life whatsoever - relationships, spirituality, work, creativity, and so on. Actually, you are asking your Higher Self for the answers.

Write your entry here in the form of a question. Date it and leave it. Then pay attention to your dreams, the events of the day, and your own internal insights and thought processes. The various parts of the Journal fit beautifully together to give you the answers you seek. Expect an answer and it will come. If nothing happens, simply repeat the process the next day with the same question! Be insistent. The answer will eventually appear.

The final section of the Journal that we will talk about is the Life Cycles section. You review your life and try to describe it in terms of the big cycles that you have experienced. It may have been a relationship cycle, an employment/career cycle, a cycle of religious affiliation. It differs for each person. Ponder your life and recognise the major cycles. For example, it may be your ten-year marriage, your six year career with XYZ Corp., your troubled teenage years, etc. Within each major cycle, write the main events that made it up as a series of brief entries. If you do this properly, you should also be able to identify minor cycles within the major. Do this also for the current cycle that you are living in right now.

Of course, many different cycles overlap each other in our lives. The point is simply to begin to get a perspective on the major movements within our lives that have brought us to where we are today.

Being able to see the large cycles and sub-cycles helps you to achieve a much expanded consciousness and context for your life. You see how the events of life seem orchestrated - as indeed they are - to lead you to learn many lessons and gain profound realizations. You begin to realize where you failed to learn the lesson, and therefore had to experience it all over again in another time and place until it finally sank in. In short, you gain perspective. In doing so, you become more empowered to lay out a grander vision for your future.

There is one final and important point. Your Journal is PRIVATE. Therefore, say what you wish openly and do not censor yourself. This is the one place where you can speak freely so give yourself that blessing. At the same time, keep the Journal in a safe place where it will not be available to prying eyes!

This has been a whirlwind introduction to the benefits of the Journal, although a lot has been covered. Doubtless, other possible sections lend themselves to your imagination, as indeed should be the case. The Journal is YOUR personal tool for self-growth and should thus arise out of your needs and aspirations. If you want to study the subject in greater depth, there are plenty of resources available on the subject. However, the important thing is just to get started and experience the benefits NOW. You have enough ideas here to create a deeply enriching life tool for yourself. May it bring you many tender insights and blessings.

Copyright 2000, Asoka Selvarajah. All Rights Reserved.

_________________________________________________________
Dr. Asoka Selvarajah is an active writer/researcher on personal development and esoteric spirituality. Asoka's work helps people achieve their full potential, deepen their understanding of mystical truth, and find joy through discovering their soul's purpose. He has travelled extensively, visiting the world's major spiritual centres including India, Israel, Egypt and Peru.

You can subscribe to his FREE ezine, Aspire To Wisdom, at:
http://www.aksworld.com/AspireToWisdom.htm?3Min
Asoka welcomes your questions/comments on this article at his
Discussion Forum: http://www.aksworld.com/discus?3Min
Visit his Mystic Visions website at:
http://www.aksworld.com?3Min
_________________________________________________________

All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-617-984-2868
Email: louise@touchpointcoaching.com
Web: http://touchpointcoaching.com
While you're there, register to win a free month of coaching.

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