Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

November 6, 2000, Issue #8
Quest for Quiet

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Welcome friends, old and new.

This issue we are joined by over 200 new subscribers.

The 3-Minute Coach is now being read in 25 countries, including: Australia, Canada, Costa Rica, England, France, Germany, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Istanbul/Turkey, Malta, Malaysia, New Zealand, Saudi Arabia, Scotland, Singapore, South Africa, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sultanate of Oman, Sweden, United States, and Wales.

Have a joyous two weeks!

Louise

Food for Thought

"If you do not feel yourself growing in your work and your life broadening and deepening, if your task is not a perpetual tonic to you, you have not found your place." --- Orison Swett Marden

Keep It Simple

No New Debt

The number one way of saving money is to stop spending it! This is especially true with items we buy on credit. Buying on credit forces us to pay for the same item again and again, in the form of finance charges. If you stopped incurring any new debt today, and just kept on paying off the old debt, where would you be in a year? Would you have that reserve of money you know you need but never seem to accumulate?

What I'm talking about here isn't about never buying anything, but never buying anything or borrowing any money that you don't put up collateral for, never receiving a service you don't pay for the moment you receive it, never buying anything on credit. An example of collateral is a new car. If you default on the payment, they take away the car, but you are no longer obligated to pay for it.

By making a personal goal of not incurring new debt, you will find yourself getting creative and, in the process, simplifying your life! A few ideas to start the process:

Use cash instead of a credit card.
Start using a Debit Card instead of a Credit Card.
If you 'must' use a credit card, pay it off completely each month. [If you have an existing new balance, pay off all new charges and keep whittling away at the previous debt.]
When you find something you want to buy, save up until you have enough to pay for it. [Now there's an earth-shaking idea!]
Don't buy anything the first time you see it and decide you must have it. Wait a week or two. Besides allowing you to stay debt-free, you will also find that many things you 'have-to-have' you really don't need or want. Very often, our impulse buys are the first things we throw out when we start to declutter our lives.

Feature Article

Quest for Quiet

We live in a very exciting time. New advances in technology and science are exploding around us. Ideas that were pipedreams two years ago are reality today, and about to be replaced by newer, better, more cost-efficient innovations.

Many of these advances have revolutionized our lives. We now live in a 24x7 world. No matter what we're interested in or care about, we can get information on it twenty-four hours a day on TV or through the internet. Individuals are no longer forced into the same schedule. Night owls now have something to do until the wee hours!

And with our ability to 'reach out and touch the world' our sense of community has been enhanced. We are connected to the world, our families, our work, no matter where we are, no matter what remote location we find ourselves visiting (or living in!). Cell phones, email, chat, and pc-to-pc or pc-to-phone voice services allow us to interact with the world beyond us, satisfying our basic need for connection, for community.

As I said, this is an exciting time. But is there a downside to all this technological wonder? I think there is. In the 'old days', periods of silence and quiet were forced on us. Time to reflect on the day and on our lives was part of the pattern of daily living. This quiet time, when the work of the day was done, left individuals with only their own thoughts for company. There was plenty of time to think things through and, more importantly, to go within.

Going within is an often-missed key to successful living. Without knowing what really matters to us, without the clarity that comes from self-knowledge, without the peace of knowing our actions are in harmony with who we are deep down, we often find ourselves flitting from action to action. Our focus centers on the 'doing' of our lives and not the 'being' of our lives.

Going within can be one of the most exciting adventures of our lifetime. Connecting with ourselves and with a higher power (regardless of your affiliation or what you call that higher power) can transform our lives. Our ability to recognize that the answers are all within us, coupled with our ability to trust those answers, can move us from feeling like a victim to claiming the power to create our lives. Very exciting stuff, indeed!

For many of us, however, it's been a long time since we sat in the quiet and visited our inner selves. As it is no longer forced upon us, we must actively seek the time and space for solitude. Below, I've offered some suggestions that you might find helpful in your personal 'Quest for Quiet'.

But once you find the time, what do you do then? Slow down your breathing, meditate, pray, start a journal, focus on an object, think about a question or issue you'd like clarity on, just 'sit', sing, anything that makes you feel connected to your inner self.

Fastest, Easiest Way to Get to the Quiet

Follow your breathing. This is something that you can do anywhere, anytime. You can do this with your eyes open or closed. In less than a minute, you can be in a calm, centered space. All you have to do is start paying attention to your breathing. That's it! I'm not clear why it works, but an automatic response to actually focusing on your breathing is for your breathing -- and you -- to slow down. Try it now. Two long deep breaths that you really pay attention to usually does the trick. If you tend to race through life, it might take 3. I've never seen it take more than that!

Suggestions for Your "Quest for Quiet"

GET UP 15 MINUTES EARLIER OR STAY UP 15 MINUTES LATER
The early hours of the morning and late in the evening are very conducive times to go within. When the world is quiet, it's easier for us to be quiet.

DOUBLE UP ON BATHROOM TIME
You're sitting there anyway-- so use the time effectively by thinking of it as little slices of quiet throughout the day. (Not sure this will work as well for men!)

LISTEN TO CLASSICAL MUSIC
Really listen. Follow the music and allow yourself to move with it. This will work with any music, but if the goal is to refresh and revitalize your inner spirit, classical music works best. Try Pachelbel's 'Canon' or Albinoni's 'Adagio'.

SIT BY ANY BODY OF WATER
Just sit. Watch the ebb and flow or movement of 'your' body of water. This works just as well with fountains as it does next to the ocean or a lake.

TAKE A DRIVE IN THE COUNTRY
Lucky you if you live in the country! You can do this all the time. If you live in the city, take the shortest route to wide-open spaces. Drive on back roads where you get to see lots and lots of trees and maybe even some cows or horses. Drink in all that nature. [Even the most die-hard city dwellers will find time spent in the country revitalizing.]

SIT UNDER A LARGE HEALTHY TREE
Sit with your back right up against the tree. Let yourself really feel the power of the tree. Get in touch with the root system and feel the connection to the earth. Powerful energy here.

NOTICE THE LANDSCAPE AS YOU DRIVE TO WORK
(If you're in a city, focus on the trees spread along your route). This is the most important time to find some quiet moments. Use the time going to and from work to connect to nature, not on rehashing the events of the day or stressing about what needs to be done once you get there. You'll be there soon enough. This is your special quiet time.

FIND AN INSPIRING OBJECT TO FOCUS ON
This can be a work of art, the flame of a candle, anything that you find beauty and simplicity in. Just keep your attention on it and 'really' notice it. Follow its lines, curved or straight. Stare at its form and color until you can truly feel it.

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND USE CANDLES
Candlelight immediately puts us in a quiet mood (unless of course you've got hundreds lit to set up a party mood!) It is a great signal that it's time to slow down and relax.

TURN OFF ALL ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES FOR 30 MINUTES EACH DAY
This includes the TV, radio, computer, video games, anything that takes your attention away from going within. If you're a noise junkie, this may be difficult the first couple of times, but stick with it. Pretend you're living in another period of time, one that always fascinated you. They led rich, full lives without being bombarded with all that input.

Related Quotes

"Adventure is not outside a man. it is within." - David Grayson

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Few men during their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the resources dwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used." - Richard Byrd

"Happiness is as a butterfly which when pursued is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly may alight upon you. " - Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world." - Hans Margolius

"If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few." - Shunryu Suzuli

All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-617-984-2868
Email: louise@touchpointcoaching.com
Web: http://touchpointcoaching.com
While you're there, register to win a free month of coaching.

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