Good. Better. Best. Which self do you want to be?

The 3-Minute Coach

September 10, 2000, Issue #4
En-JOY Your Life!

Welcome to The 3-Minute Coach

Happy Fall! It's hard to believe that we are seriously into September. What a great time of the year. It's always been my favorite season as the air turns crisp and we roll up our sleeves, ready for the next great adventure. Enjoy the beauty of the season.

Thanks for your continued feedback on the newsletter and the website. And a special thanks to all of you who have passed it on.

If you have had trouble accessing the website recently, it's because my web-hosting company "accidentally" moved it to a Unix server. It should be back on its old NT server within 48 hours. We've added a Newsletter Archive and I've started a "Good Books" section, which I will be adding to extensively over the next few weeks.

Enjoy!

Thanks, Louise

Food for Thought

"You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour." --- Jim Rohn

Keep It Simple

Pick a Number

For all of those things that you have multiples of (shoes, bags, ties, books, you name it!), pick a number that feels right to you. Once you've reached that number, in order to add a new item, throw or give away one of the old ones. This is a great way to keep the clutter to a minimum!

Feature Article

En-JOY Your Life

Have you ever noticed that your state of mind, whether you're happy, sad, angry, fearful, feeling any emotion at all, is directly related to what you're thinking? True, there may be an external situation that's causing you to have those thoughts, but it's your thoughts that dictate how you are feeling, not the situation.

I'm sure you can think of a time when you heard a piece of news that would normally have caused a negative emotion, but you were in such a good mood that it didn't throw you off balance. You were able to look at the situation in perspective (the place you usually get to anyway) because you were feeling, and 'thinking', good. In fact, you've used this knowledge. How many times have you picked the 'right' time to tell someone bad news, knowing that bad news isn't so bad if you're in a good mood?

And when your thoughts are positive, when you're happy, aren't you at your best? Don't you find that you're more productive and creative? Don't you find every aspect of life to be exciting and you look forward to what else it has to offer? I suspect these are the days you enjoy most.

These are two facts that we all know. But most of us have stopped there and haven't made the connection between the two. What if we took it to the next logical step, which is to control our thoughts, so that we're always (or almost always) in a positive place? Instead of just observing what you're thinking and the effect it has on you, if you don't like what you're thinking, consciously choose to change your thoughts to something that makes you happy. This is the secret to en-joying your life, to put -- and keep -- joy in your life: constantly monitor your thoughts and when a thought isn't bringing you joy, change it to a thought that does or start enjoying the thought you're having.

As you go through your day, ask yourself "Am I enjoying this thought?". If yes, wonderful! Keep it up. But if you can't answer that question with a loud, resounding, and immediate "Yes", then it's time to work on your thoughts. You have two options. First, you can choose to change the thought and just start thinking of something that does bring you joy. I find this works best if you have some 'joy-ful' thoughts ready, particularly if the negative thoughts you are having are recurring ones. Write down 5 negative thoughts you keep having. Cross each one out and write down your 'replacement' thought. For example, if your negative thought was "I can't help myself", your replacement thought could be "I can help myself" or "I love the roses in my garden". It doesn't need to be connected, it just needs to replace the old thought and be a thought you enjoy having! Being prepared with a new thought allows you to save valuable and critical time in changing your mood. Every second you have a negative thought, the more entrenched it gets.

If you're like me, however, you may find it difficult to just switch gears, or your negative thoughts are too random to prepare for in advance. I find it much easier to work with the second choice. Start playing with the thought until the mood or energy around it lightens up. There are a number of different ways you can do this. You can visualize the thought (the easiest way to do this is to put it in a word balloon, like in the comics). Make it big. Make it small. Make it tall and narrow, or short and wide. See it close up, then far away. Add color to it. Take color away. Add sound. Just play with it!

What works well for me is to say it out loud, using funny voices, changing the pitch and the rhythm, slow, fast, drawing out different words. I find is that after a while, I'm smiling at how silly the whole thing is. And the negative thought? It just loses its juice. It stops controlling me once I start controlling it. I am constantly amazed at how effective such a simple thing is, that it's possible to start enjoying every thought I have.
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Inspired by the work of Dr. Christian Almayrac, as described in the book "The Enlightened Smoker's Guide to Quitting" by B. Jack Gebhardt.

Related Quotes

"There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so." William Shakespeare

"Remember, happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think." - Dale Carnegie

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All That BIZ

Louise Morganti Kaelin is a Life Success Coach who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into reality.
Phone: 1-484-660-3143
Email:

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Louise is a Life Success Coach who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to accept total support). She specializes in helping those who know what they want to do and how to do it but still can't seem to get it done by breaking through the blocks and barriers to their success. For many free resources, including Louise's free newsletter of insightful, practical suggestions for creating your best life, visit her website at

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