Boundaries are imaginary lines we establish around ourselves to protect our souls, hearts and minds from the unhealthy or damaging behavior of others. It is recommended to extend your boundaries at least two or three times beyond where they are.

When a person has healthy boundaries:

• Fear diminishes significantly; trust is rarely an issue.
• Willing, healthy family members and true friends respect these.
• They start growing more emotionally and developmentally.

What happens when one’s boundaries are weak:

• They attract needy, disrespectful people into their lives.
• They waste much energy to keep olife going.

THE 10 STEPS TO HAVING EXTENSIVE BOUNDARIES
Mark each item as True or False, as it relates to you.

1. “Get” that you need to dramatically extend your boundaries.
2. Be willing to educate others on how to respect your new boundaries.
3. Be relentless, yet not punitive, as you extend boundaries.
4. Make a list of the 10 things that people may no longer do around you, do to you or say to you.
5. Sit down with each person involved and share that you are working on boundaries. Get an agreement with them to honor you and your process.
6. Require that every single person in your life is always unconditionally constructive in every single comment to you. No more digs, make-funs, deprecating remarks, criticisms, no matter what or who or the situation.
7. Haveand use a 4-step plan of action whenever someone violates your boundaries: Inform them what they are doing. Implore them to stop immediately. Require that they stop. Walk away without any snappy or get-even comments.
8. Make a list of 10 ways you are violating others’ boundaries.
9. Stop violating the boundaries on that list.
10. Reward and congratulate those who are respecting boundaries.

_____ Number of items marked True (10 max)

____________________________
From The Personal Foundation 100-Point Assessment developed by Thomas J. Leonard and Coach U, Inc. Modified by LMK.

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