There are many diffeent things that motivate us (money, love, success, accomplishment, health, etc), but regardless of the specific motivator, the bottom line in motivation is that we are pushing AWAY from something or getting pulled TOWARDS something.

There is value in both of types of motivation. Sometimes things have to get pretty bad before we make a decision to change an element in our lives. As Henry David Thoreau once said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” When that desperation hits rock bottom, many of us are moved to action. Another way of looking at it is that we all have a point where the straw will break the camel’s back. At that point, we will do anything, even the things we fear most, to change the situation.

Being pulled towards something has a completely different look and feel to it. This is the proverbial ‘carrot on a stick’ that we will follow until we get it. We are attracted by the end result and fueled by the sensation of how our lives will look and FEEL different. The feeling part is critical because very few of us will actually be motivated by the item we are moving towards itself. It all has to do with how we think that item will make us feel.

In fact, it is our feelings in the existing situation that make us pull away from an item in the ‘pushing from’ motivation. How WE feel about what’s going on about us makes the situation negative or positive. Someone else could have the totally opposite reactions to the same events.

I believe that there is value in both types of motivation. I am not suggesting anyone place themselves in a desperate situation, but if you’re in one, then it’s a good time to realize that change IS possible. The idea that nothing can ever change is the enemy of pushing away motivation. It might be scary and you might not be able to see HOW it could change, but it is always possible. Even worse than thinking it can’t change, however, is the fear of the unknown. What if I move away from this and my life still isn’t better. It becomes the ‘enemy you know’.

In an ideal world, you would have both push AND pull working for you: a situation you desperately want to change and a sense of how the new situation will enrich your emotional life. A delicate balance of the two motivators actually has a better chance of keeping us ‘in’ action towards our goal.

Why not take some time and make a list of situations you want to change (the pushing away from list) and identify what your goals in that area are (the pull towards list). Don’t forget to include your feelings on both sides of the list!

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This entry was posted on Friday, April 24th, 2009 at 9:00 am and is filed under Strong Sense of Self. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.